Lashing Out Is Not The Way To Deal With Fresh Memories Of Child Sexual Abuse

When I wrote a letter to my pedophile outlining the full details of my memories of his involvement of my molestation I was very angry that he would have the immediate response of "It didn't happen!" I was very blunt and "in your face" about the entire matter. I did not pull any punches. I explained he crossed boundaries and he no longer would be considered my "father" as there are some boundaries that when you cross over them you can not come back from. I always compare it to virginity. You can never be a virgin again when you cross that boundary.

The trauma of experiencing child sexual abuse is huge. It is a trauma that is for the most part not seen. You may see unusual behavior in a child around the time of the sexual molestation but most of the actual acts are very hidden. The trauma of being confronted for molesting your own child is huge. It is wide open and out there for everyone to see. There is evident pain and a great deal of crying. The "bad guy" is the person who caused the pain and trauma that is evident to see. That "bad guy" in this case is me. That is the general consensus. Appearances really do count for a lot.

I really hate when a person lies to me or about me. Do what ever you want to me but do not lie to me or about me. That is the worst. I really do believe that having a team on your side around the time of your memories resurfacing is a very important component of addressing child sexual abuse. Give the molester in question every opportunity to come forward and address this issue within your family with an educated and neutral team. Watch the calendar and take action before the 10 years run out. Do everything in your power to investigate the "Truth Between Two People".

Lashing out is not the right thing to do. That was a hard learned lesson. Without someone there giving me advice for the next step I did what was for me a natural step. Think about how I learned how not to pull punches. I learned that from my molester. He never pulled punches either.

We need to reach people at the time they begin to have the memories of child sexual abuse and at that point there needs to be the investigation of "The Truth Between Two People".