When these brothers find and restore a house to make it a Home they have to investigate the foundation, check the plumbing, the electrical works, Take Down Walls…….The list is sometimes a complete Gut Job.
When someone is finding out who they really are during the healing process after the realization and the acceptance of incest and child sexual abuse they have to do much the same thing. A person has to find out about their foundation, their physical and mental health…how they are wired, they have to Take Down Walls…..
Many years ago I was renting a basement one bedroom apartment. It was in an old building with great woodwork tall ceilings and a nice galley kitchen. The bathroom floor was rotting away and the tiles were coming up. I asked the building engineer to take a look at it and please do something about it.
He took a look and said, "I'll take up the loose tiles and put a rug down. I protested and explained the rotting floor is still going to be there and needed to be addressed. He brought in some people who took the floor away down to the dirt and some very large square beams the building was built on. He replaced all the wood and it had a safe foundation and was dry once again.
The point is; you can't just gloss over a problem. You have to address it head on. I am doing the right thing by moving on from people who just want to gloss over and pretend nothing happened.
It's almost as if the building could be "The Family" and we are all interconnected and if you rip away parts of that house the entire family will feel the pain. I have already gone through most of the most difficult pain while experiencing the molestation and when I was experiencing that my "Family" was experiencing a great deal of frustration. Now I am feeling the frustration and the Family refuses to go through the pain and growth part by refusing any and all attempts I make to be a part of the group. And refusing to believe anything happened at all. Passive Aggressive is not an adult way to respond to incest and child sexual abuse.
It will hurt but the healthiest way to address the ever growing Cancer known as Incest and Child Sexual Abuse is to work on the foundation and repair all the things broken that are not seen.