Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Abandoned Human Rescue / Incest Orphans

There are numerous videos online that show caring people out rescuing abandoned animals.  Often times it is a dog living on the streets because the owners moved or they just let the dog out loose because they could not care of the animal.

The videos have soft sweet piano and violin music to evoke the emotions of hardship that the animal faces on their own.  The people doing the rescue toss a part of a burger to the animal they want to rescue and calm the animal down showing the animal they mean no harm.  They eventually get a loose rope around the animals neck and bring it to a shelter where they bathe and do a medical and micro chip check.

I have been thinking that their needs to be more ways to reach the humans who are abandoned due to child sexual abuse and incest.  I have begun to think of myself as an Incest Orphan.

To my knowledge there is not a set procedure to round up and nurture incest orphans back into society and there will not be unless someone just steps forward to suggest such a thing.  I am doing that now.

Please join in the conversation.  

Saturday, February 7, 2015


The Undergrouind Railroad was an amazing thing that helped free many slaves. Safe houses with food on a long and dangerous journey. Loving, caring people worked diligently to make this possible.  It was a Noble Achievement.
There is another kind of railroad that is going on right now as you readthis. I like to call it the Underground Railroaded.
The survivors of child sexual abuse are the Underground Railroaded. We are not being taken seriously. We are the people deemed to have mental impairments. People try to silence us.
This is the antithesis of the former railroad. This is where predators are being swept away in hidden passages, hushed hallways leading to freedom and safety where they can do more harm and continue to steal childhoods away from more children. And disrupt the harmony of any family that survivor is a part of. Most likely that "family" will not support that survivor.
There is a map in this Wikipedia link. You can see the Underground Railroad in red. We all know that incest and child sexual abuse are an epidemic in this country and it occurs in every state. What would the underground railroad of predators and their protectors look like?!?

The Underground Railroad was a network of secret routes and safe houses used by 19th-century slaves of African descent in the United States to escape to free...

Monday, February 2, 2015

Letter To Family Priest [a work in progress]

I am writing you in a time of dire need for my family.  Over the years I have done 15 years of public speaking about my survival of child sexual abuse and incest.  I have tried for over 20 years of speaking with my family about my survival to no avail and in the last 3.5 years I have blogged and most recently I have a Facebook page.

As you can see I am doing my part about Addressing Child Sexual Abuse.

I am sure you are aware of the difficulties that many churches are dealing with in our fight to prevent and address the needs of the survivors of child sexual abuse as well as the unfortunate men who are attracted to infants and children in a controlling sexual way.  As it stands now, for some reason I have found that the majority of support and empathy somehow comes to land in the lap of the predator or child molester.

Coming from the stand point of the survivor I thing it might be just so much more easy to
toss the survivor under the bus as has happened with me.  That is unfortunate but I have grown much more spiritual as a result so I do look at the bright side of things!

The reason I am writing to you in this time of family crisis is that after 20 years I really do need to tell my story and come out as a child sexual abuse survivor.  It is a logical step in my healing and recovery and with my knowledge and insight about new ways to address this issue I am sure that We will make great strides in combatting this epidemic.  I am giving my family every opportunity to join in this discussion about family health and I am asking you to join in as well.  I am sure that we can all agree that this Is an epidemic and we are all concerned or we all should be seeing that I am a survivor of incest from the [___________] family.  After so many years of showing and having respect and family loyalties to the [__________] family I think it is time for my family to show me as much respect and loyalty that I have shown them.  That is only fair.

*A work in progress.  I am thinking it might even be a template for others to do a Group Coming Out.
There would be portions of the script that other survivors would change to suit what they have done for the cause or personal struggles that you have survived that some may have witnessed that would be relevant to you….but use as much text as you would like.  Once I have the full text clarified I will do a boost on Facebook.

I do appreciate anyone checking in and please contact me if you want to share your story of survival or if you want to brainstorm about how to address these issues or if you need a shoulder.

Please Take Care.

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Strength in Numbers? / What's The Matter, Pedophile Got Your Tongue?

We have all heard it said many times before.  There is strength in numbers.

I have my doubts.  

In many ways, many who have been beaten down and conditioned due to age, gender, sexual orientation, color etc., often do not have the strength, power or knowledge to stand up for themselves.
Many do not come forward because they fear the reaction by friends and family.  Will they be supported?  Will they be rejected?  Will they have friends or family after they confront the abuse?  

The matriarch of my paternal family is a woman who I know was sexually molested.  She joined the convent when she was 8.  This was many years ago and times were different.  So……first off I think while she said she had a calling, I believe she had a means of escape.  Her older sister had a true calling even though she was only 9 years old.  The older sister was a nun for I believe around 70 years until her death due to cancer.  The younger sister was a nun for 20 years.  She left and was a revered teacher for many years.  I once visited her when I was 16 years old or so.  I stayed for a long weekend.  She had a very nice stereo system and I changed the station to what was the same music but it was with vocals. It was the music of Frank Sinatra and that era.  Same music but my aunt would only listen to the instrumentals.   I was camped out in her spare room of her condo and she came in and seemed quite agitated.   She asked me if I could change the music back to what she had before.  I said I would and that was the end of that.  When I first began having memories of her brother being my pedophile she refused to speak about it.  NEVER.  Direct questions, answers to something I did not ask.  Brick Wall. 
From what little I have witnesses I am sure that she was a survivor before me.  But……..A pedophiles got her tongue.  There is just no speaking with people who refuse to speak with me.  She silenced her music and she silenced herself.  She is now 81 years old.  

There has been a long silence from my family in retaliation to my having to step back when I had no support in a volunteer project I was involved in.  Unfortunately the project lasted 20 years.  While it was sad that there was that long a separation from my mother, since I did not bond with her due to the molestation of my pedophile, I have for the last 5 years tried to reconnect with my "mother".  I call her by her first name as I did not bond with her.  She will not call me by a nickname she gave me or my new chosen name.  Bones of contention.  Basic respect is what I ask for.  Jumping through hoops is what is seemingly expected.  And of course I can not jump through the hoops when they are not presented to me.  

A friend of mine told me about an attack in Loring Park, MN many years ago.  It was an attack on gay men with baseball bats.  The two who had bats where greatly outnumbered but the gay men all ran away and did not try to defend themselves.  Had they been beaten down verbally, or physically before? 
Did they not have the means or support in the past?  

We have come a long way in some places and we need to come a lot farther in others.  

The numbers of child sexual abuse cases / incest survivors is staggering.   The number of people involved in the websites dealing with this epidemic seems to be a fairly high number but the people really speaking out about this epidemic is relatively small.  

I have tried to speak with my "family" for over 20 years about what I have survived and what was and most likely is still a part of the paternal side of my family and the next logical step is to come out.  

I will give them every opportunity to show their family support to me or I see no reason to continue to show them my family support to and for them.  

Tick Tock.

I will inform all parties (all family members) of my intention for family health and invite them to join in the discussion.   Would you join in a family discussion about sexual abuse in your family?!?


*Whats The Matter?  Pedophile Got Your Tongue?!?   

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

A Craigslist Posting for Social Gatherings, Support and Brainstorming

Hello, I am a survivor of incest and child sexual abuse. I am looking to connect with others who are survivors. I would like to form a safe supportive group that would involve survivors, family and friends of survivors, professional therapists and possibly lawyers. 

I would like to have regular social gatherings as well as people who would brainstorm about proceeders used now to address the issues of child sexual abuse. I also want lawyers to be involved to help look at laws present on the books now and see what changes need to happen to actually bring about more change to those laws to balance the "playing field" and bring more power to survivors. 

I am not a professional in dealing with child sexual abuse but I did 15 years of public speaking about social justice issues and more safety for children regarding child sexual abuse. I also have been writing a blog for the last 4 years. The blog has had some success. I usually have at least 150 hits a month. Total "hits" for my blog are over 8,000. 

I will be posting this in my blog and Facebook page as well. If you see this and believe it would benefit a person you know please forward this to that person or organization. 

The purpose for this is for healing. I have seen survivors groups around the twin cities but most are women only. I was involved in one small group that was through the organization NIP out of South Minneapolis but that was short lived and not very in depth. I believe many fall through the cracks and many like myself are abandoned by their families. This is my first attempt for a gathering of this kind. 

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Crossing my Love of Taxidermy with how I feel about my Dear Old Dad

This is a "stock photo" from the internet with no relation to the dark humor presented with the title of this sweet little post!  I also do Not Love Taxidermy and have never hunted.

*I also repeat, Never Take the Law into your own hands.   Just get by by using dark humor!