Thursday, April 16, 2015

New Word to "Get Real" About


[chahyld-hoo d]

1. the state or period of being a child.
2. the early stage in the existence of something:
the childhood of the human race.

Childhood should be a carefree simpler time.  When that is taken away you endure what I call "incesthood".


1. the state or period of being used sexually as a child.
2. the early stage in the existence of something horrible.

1. the action of having been sexually molested by a blood relative, i.e. father, brother, uncle etc.

There are hundreds of thousands of people out there who did not Have a childhood.  A number of those people will go on to continue the epidemic of child sexual abuse.  A number of those people will never speak of this to their families.  A number of those people will support and hide any actions they survived.  A number of those will do the work to get out of that destructive cycle and try to change for the health of it.

Too many families are expecting family loyalty without being loyal to the survivors of child sexual abuse.

I have explored the way to get a word into the dictionary and the main way a word is added is by usage.   This posses a particular problem as there is a gargantuan majority of people who are survivors who will not come forward to be open about their survival.  An aunt of mine who will not speak with me….she will speak At me but will never broach the subject of incest or child sexual abuse and I tried for 25  years!  I have bookmarked the page to submit a word to the dictionary and will go back and fill
out all the reasons why I believe it to be a valid word.  If you want to share this post with anyone or any organization who could begin to Use this word….well that would be Great!   Peace.  

Friday, April 10, 2015

Issues of Unresolved Trauma

I have been searching out healing paths and came upon Survivors Chat.  I was taught many years ago about the power of words and the choices we make.  When you choose to express yourself as a Survivor it is very empowering.  You are not a victim.   I was victimized and I Survived!  If you are reading this You survived Too!

Copy and paste the survivors chat site and explore for yourself.  Many good ideas for a path to healing
and the other address is a guide post to check where you are in your path of healing.  I got 2 out of 20 which is good.  There are 20 signs you are still not fully healed from trauma.


Tuesday, April 7, 2015

World Map Of People Looking at This Blog

This is a map of the location of the people who have been looking at this blog.  

Nature / Non-Nurture

You always hear about being the product of our upbringing.  The old debate about Nature and Nurture.
We have to look at this more closely and bring in the category of Non-Nuture.

Look at what is a part of the persons life and address that Non-Nuture part.

This of course applies to Any part of a persons life.  Not just child sexual abuse.

As I always say; Address the Problem at its Core and fix it from there.

Nature / Nurture

Nature / Non-Nurture

Where are you in this mix?

Where is your family in this mix?

We need to begin speaking about Family Health!

Sunday, April 5, 2015

A Sexual Abuse Survivor is Always at The Scene Of the Crime

The scene of the crime has always been about the location, as in the address or building.  It occurs to me that being the survivor of sexual abuse, you are always at the scene of the crime.    Your body is your house.  The vehicle that houses your Soul.  This makes things very complicated.

                                                                    Uncounted Survivor


Saturday, March 28, 2015

Steps to Recovery of Incest

There are many different theories about the process of recovery of incest and child sexual abuse.
This is one that I thought was very clear and it works for me.  There are still steps that I need to work through.  I may need to step back and go through a step I thought I was through or go to a deeper level of understanding to go on to the next level.  That is what I have placed before myself.  I believe in setting goals but have the realization that the real healing process takes time.  If you are a survivor as well please check out this site.  If it does not work for you, By All Means Keep Looking For Something or Someone who Can Help!  It is Important to Take the Steps.

Copy and paste this addy below.  I am not tech savvy to have you just click ON it.  Sorry.  It is a very good site with a great deal of Healing Advice.

Thursday, March 26, 2015

An Episode of Dissociation Explained to My Former Manager in Hospitality

Dear Lori,

This letter is to apologize and explain what happened at a business meeting when I was working at [The Hotel you Manage].

What you and the others at the meeting witnesses was an episode of dissociation.
I explained during my initial interview that I had done 15 years of public speaking about social justice issues and caregiving as I was a long time companion to a man living with AIDS but I did not at the time explain that I also spoke at great length about being an incest and child sexual abuse survivor.

Throughout my life there have been episodes of dissociation caused by different triggers.  I am not aware of all the triggers but I am evaluating them and beginning to put them into some kind of order.  I know that living in a house where I was sexually molested by my father for 10 years caused me to not feel loved as an infant and young child so there were panic attacks there.  I know that sometimes a trigger is just someone being kind to me and when that happens, sometimes a younger version of myself has emerged and I revert into a child like state and that is when you witnessed
the dissociation at the meeting at [the Hotel].   It is almost like a split personality and when it happened I was not even aware that it happened until a few days later.

In the more than 25 years I have been addressing the issues of incest and child sexual abuse I have contacted my “family” but no one on my paternal side will speak about this family tragedy.

At present my blog has had over 8,000 hits.  Since I have no tech savvy the blog reads a much lower # and I cannot fix that.  I also have been writing and posting on a facebook page with the same name.  Address Child Sexual Abuse

One of my earliest posts on my blog was a detailed list of most of my memories of the incest and child sexual abuse.  I have it enclosed here.  Read it if you want or don’t as it is very disturbing and not really necessary for you to see to be an understanding person with what I and many others deal with on a daily basis.   Sexual abuse survivors have to deal with survival issues for the rest of their lives.

In AA the 8th step is to make amends for past actions.  I am working on a “Steps” list for sexual abuse survivors and I liken this step to the #8 on their list as a way of explaining, apologizing and educating people as to what this is all about.

Once again I am sorry that you witnessed my episode of dissociation.  I am not a crazy person, I am only severely damaged.....but I am healing.  And trying to bring healing to my fellow survivors.


I do not know what others will feel about my choice of disclosure.  I thought long and hard about what I would say and after writing this letter over and over in my mind this is what I came up with.   I consider myself spiritual and I must say that whenever I have prayed for "words", that prayers has ALWAYS been answered.  Whenever I have prayed for the right words to say in public speaking or if I am posting on my blog or Facebook page or if I need to speak with someone about a difficult situation
I have always had a great deal of assistance from the Other Side (Heaven).  And I am very grateful for that!  Prayer is Good!