Many parents believe that acknowledging their child has been sexually molested equals failure as a parent. Turning your back on your child after he or she has been molested is really more a failure especially if one of the parents is the molester. If one of the parents is the molester it is a great deal of work trying to figure out where your relationship lays with your spouse and your child or children. What does that make your marriage and has your whole life as a loving wife and mother been a complete sham? Often times as in my case my female parent is forced to choose is she more a mother or more a wife. In my case it turns out, and I believe this is the majority of the times when the female parent was more a wife. Many people in my relation have tried to convince me that child sexual abuse was just not a part of my life. In other words, I have some kind of mental impairment.
I have agreed to go through any kind of psychological testing to show that I was in fact a survivor of sexual abuse. Throughout the years I have asked my parents to join in with me on chats with what ever current therapist I was seeing at the time. They always declined saying, "We don't need to see a therapist. If it is helping you to not live in the past then we are glad for that.
Just for the fact I was seeing a therapist showed to them that I did and do have some kind of mental impairment and that is I am sure what they repeat to my relation when and if anyone would ask about me. I have no way of confirming that because with any form of communication I try with relatives fails as I never hear back from them. It's like the old saying....The bad news is I never hear from them but the good news is I never hear from them!
I wonder if we can look at the molesting of a child the same way we look at the story we have all heard as children. The story I speak of is how we should never touch a small wild animal or disturb a birds nest. If a small wild animal is touched, other animals will smell that scent and the animal will be rejected. The same is true if you disturb a birds nest. When someone touches a child they will act differently, especially if the molester is living in the house as well. When you disturb your own nest you create a great deal of turmoil. I was not a joy to live with as an infant and child. The molesting was happening a great deal especially when I was small. Remember, even when a child is sleeping they still have the seance of smell and each person has distinct smells even when you wear a fragrance. Children also have body memories if molestation happens in their sleep. In some capacity a child WILL remember. I believe when that children's story is told it should be extended to age appropriately discuss not touching or disturbing human babies. We should all be taught from an early age to not disturb any ones nest or living space.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Child Porn/ Inaction Leads to More Illegal Actions and More Sexual Abuse
When my father involved me in child porn it was somewhere around 1965. I clearly remember my father speaking with the photographer before our "photo shoot" and the photographer was saying that there would be no touching. After a short talk between my birth father and the photographer my birth father left. I did ask my father in a letter where he went and what he was doing. I suspect he was involved in something sexual with someone in the building but that is only speculation. This was in the basement of a professional building in the down town of where I grew up. There were at least 15-20 children in the basement all nude and playing with different sized kicker balls. The photographer was standing behind a camera on a tripod and there was some kind of black cloth to cover his face like an old camera would have but in this case I believe it was there so no one would be able to recognize him. The town I grew up in has usually had a population around 12,000-13,000 people. If you have read my previous post of my memory of child sexual abuse you know I did not stick around long. I knew this was not right and I was not going to have any part of it. I was going to spend some quality time with my father as this was our time together! I am not even sure how many photos he took of me. I would say there are not many but I did for a short time play with the balls and toss them to other little nude children as instructed. After a short time I gathered up my clothes and walked out the door. I went to the right and walked down the hall to windowed door at the end of the hall and went outside. I sat nude on the single step at the back door with my clothes folded on my lap. There was a small hedge on either side of the door and I could hear the traffic to my right from a busy one way road. I was not there long before my father came out the back door in a hurried panic and asked me if anyone had touched me. I gave him an honest no response. He took me and my clothes to the side of the building away from traffic and dressed me. I was happy that we were now going to have our time together! No so. We left and went right home. He was very angry with me. Keep in mind that this was around 1965. I do not know if there is a way to track down the child porn that did happen that day. I did email the police in my home town to ask if they had any cases of child porn that were older. I do not remember much about the room itself but I do remember large rectangle windows near the top of the walls. They had metal frames. I believe they surrounded the room.
When I was 18 and experimenting with my sexuality I did meet one man who had a house along a river in a nearby college town. He showed me some child porn. I did not look at it for very long and when he noticed my discomfort he took the photos away from me and put them in a top drawer and closed it. I do not think they were from my memories of the basement. All I remember of the photos were naked children and panelled walls. That was in 1981.
I came across some statistics of child porn from an article in a local news paper about a lawyer seeking out and prosecuting people who download and distribute child porn. These are the statistics.
* Size of the online child-porn industry: Multi billions of dollars
* Increase in the number of images online from 1997 to 2003: 1,500 percent
* Number of reports of child pornography from 1998 through April 2009: 594,000
* Number of children whose abuse has been recorded by pornographers in the U.S. alone: More than 1 million
* The vast majority of child-pornography crimes are never prosecuted.
* Quote from a child-pornography victim: "When I was a little girl, and when I was being photographed and raped, I used to try to send messages with my eyes down the lens and hoped that one day a good person might see and come to help us."
I have no idea if there in a continuation of child porn in my home town but I would venture to say given the statistics that there is. There is nothing set up in my small home town as far as an organization to address child sexual abuse. In the college town nearby they do have some programs. I believe if an abuse is not addressed that it will grow. I did recently cut and past my original posting of my memories of child pornography and sent them by email to the small town where I grew up and suggested that they get something in place. I suggested they get in touch with the people in the college town to get assistance. I further suggested they involve some people from a bigger city who have more experience. The email I sent was unanswered.
I sent by email to my families Matriarch a copy of an article about a man who was recently convicted of raping and murdering two young teenagers. In my email I urged her to reconsider her stance about her continued silence of the sexual abuse that I know was a part of my infancy and childhood and the possibility of it continuing with my father. I told her in my email that her inaction leads to more action of a sexually abusive way to more children. I did not receive a response from that email.
The Matriarch in my family was a teacher and former religious! People in all walks of life can choose ignorance. It is more sad when a person of this back round makes this choice. She did tell me in an email that most of her childhood was blocked out. I have no doubt that this family legacy will continue.
Remember.....Inaction will lead to more child sexual abuse.
When I was 18 and experimenting with my sexuality I did meet one man who had a house along a river in a nearby college town. He showed me some child porn. I did not look at it for very long and when he noticed my discomfort he took the photos away from me and put them in a top drawer and closed it. I do not think they were from my memories of the basement. All I remember of the photos were naked children and panelled walls. That was in 1981.
I came across some statistics of child porn from an article in a local news paper about a lawyer seeking out and prosecuting people who download and distribute child porn. These are the statistics.
* Size of the online child-porn industry: Multi billions of dollars
* Increase in the number of images online from 1997 to 2003: 1,500 percent
* Number of reports of child pornography from 1998 through April 2009: 594,000
* Number of children whose abuse has been recorded by pornographers in the U.S. alone: More than 1 million
* The vast majority of child-pornography crimes are never prosecuted.
* Quote from a child-pornography victim: "When I was a little girl, and when I was being photographed and raped, I used to try to send messages with my eyes down the lens and hoped that one day a good person might see and come to help us."
I have no idea if there in a continuation of child porn in my home town but I would venture to say given the statistics that there is. There is nothing set up in my small home town as far as an organization to address child sexual abuse. In the college town nearby they do have some programs. I believe if an abuse is not addressed that it will grow. I did recently cut and past my original posting of my memories of child pornography and sent them by email to the small town where I grew up and suggested that they get something in place. I suggested they get in touch with the people in the college town to get assistance. I further suggested they involve some people from a bigger city who have more experience. The email I sent was unanswered.
I sent by email to my families Matriarch a copy of an article about a man who was recently convicted of raping and murdering two young teenagers. In my email I urged her to reconsider her stance about her continued silence of the sexual abuse that I know was a part of my infancy and childhood and the possibility of it continuing with my father. I told her in my email that her inaction leads to more action of a sexually abusive way to more children. I did not receive a response from that email.
The Matriarch in my family was a teacher and former religious! People in all walks of life can choose ignorance. It is more sad when a person of this back round makes this choice. She did tell me in an email that most of her childhood was blocked out. I have no doubt that this family legacy will continue.
Remember.....Inaction will lead to more child sexual abuse.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
A Response from A Doctor of Psychology
Thank you for contacting me and for the comments about our site!
I visited your blog! I think it is very helpful! Only tips I would recommend (many survivors contact me with how they would like to help in the fight to reduce/eliminate sexual abuse) is to develop a core outline, with just a few main goals, for your efforts...this way it stays clear and precise, and it helps to enlist professionals and others and for them to see what the goals are...on occasions, some of the survivors I work with still have a lot of pain and anger toward the offender, and family members..and even though they really want to help agencies/public/people, their pain serves as a major distraction
For example, if a survivor had a main goal of reducing child sexual abuse...then developed a few good objectives....maybe a pilot type program in the school system...where all kids would be "screened" for sexual abuse during 3rd grade, 6th grade, and 10th grade....but in a non evasive fashion (so it doesn't upset parents)......and if the person worked on implemented such a program....or awareness...or holding the non offending parents accountable as well..or public speaking!
Keep up the great work!!!
This is an email I received from a Doctor in Psychology I wrote to and asked if he would take a look at my blog and respond with any advice. He was kind to respond. I am not including his name as I have not asked if I could do so.
While I love the advice he gave I am frustrated (as usual) that there is not a set way to go even beyond his advice. What about stopping the abuse before it starts? The suggestion is to set up "screenings" in a non evasive fashion as to not upset the parents. What if one of the parents is the problem? What if the wife is one of the many who would never believe that her husband would ever touch their child in a sexual way? While screening is a great idea, for me it seems like that is too late. It is not too late to stop what may be happening but it is too late to stop abuse from even starting.
I have often thought that there should be a human sexuality class that teaches us about our bodies and even our sexuality. I do not know exactly when that class should be in place but I would suggest it be starting around 6th grade. It would be a class that explain the body changes that we all go through but it would also approach the attractions we begin to have. There should be a clear explanation as to the different sexualities that there are. Heterosexuality, bisexuality, homosexuality transgender and all the lesser known sexualities that exist. When students get to 7th or 8th grade there should also be a chapter discussing attractions to younger people and talk about the statistics of the percentages of child molesters. There should be but there is not. I think my next step is to set up meetings with human sexuality teachers.
Anger is a Distraction.
I am told from this Doctor of Psychology that my anger is a distraction. I can not argue with that. How does one address child sexual abuse without anger? Are we not showing our sanity by showing anger? When we ask basic questions to the people who profess to be addressing child sexual abuse and there are seemingly no answers given, does that not provoke anger? I do not know how to walk on egg shells to ask the questions that need to be answered. I do not know how to do that and I do not know how others do it.
When I ask questions that are not answered it is frustrating and I get angry. When I look to the U.S. Government website about child sexual abuse it shows statistics but not much more and when I read to the bottom of the page it states that the site is inactive and is no longer updated. This should make anyone who is interested in addressing child sexual abuse angry. How do we harness that anger and be proactive and really make a difference in bringing the numbers of children molested down and finally bring an end to child sexual abuse? I do not have the answers.....and apparently the people I have contacted do not know either.
I visited your blog! I think it is very helpful! Only tips I would recommend (many survivors contact me with how they would like to help in the fight to reduce/eliminate sexual abuse) is to develop a core outline, with just a few main goals, for your efforts...this way it stays clear and precise, and it helps to enlist professionals and others and for them to see what the goals are...on occasions, some of the survivors I work with still have a lot of pain and anger toward the offender, and family members..and even though they really want to help agencies/public/people, their pain serves as a major distraction
For example, if a survivor had a main goal of reducing child sexual abuse...then developed a few good objectives....maybe a pilot type program in the school system...where all kids would be "screened" for sexual abuse during 3rd grade, 6th grade, and 10th grade....but in a non evasive fashion (so it doesn't upset parents)......and if the person worked on implemented such a program....or awareness...or holding the non offending parents accountable as well..or public speaking!
Keep up the great work!!!
This is an email I received from a Doctor in Psychology I wrote to and asked if he would take a look at my blog and respond with any advice. He was kind to respond. I am not including his name as I have not asked if I could do so.
While I love the advice he gave I am frustrated (as usual) that there is not a set way to go even beyond his advice. What about stopping the abuse before it starts? The suggestion is to set up "screenings" in a non evasive fashion as to not upset the parents. What if one of the parents is the problem? What if the wife is one of the many who would never believe that her husband would ever touch their child in a sexual way? While screening is a great idea, for me it seems like that is too late. It is not too late to stop what may be happening but it is too late to stop abuse from even starting.
I have often thought that there should be a human sexuality class that teaches us about our bodies and even our sexuality. I do not know exactly when that class should be in place but I would suggest it be starting around 6th grade. It would be a class that explain the body changes that we all go through but it would also approach the attractions we begin to have. There should be a clear explanation as to the different sexualities that there are. Heterosexuality, bisexuality, homosexuality transgender and all the lesser known sexualities that exist. When students get to 7th or 8th grade there should also be a chapter discussing attractions to younger people and talk about the statistics of the percentages of child molesters. There should be but there is not. I think my next step is to set up meetings with human sexuality teachers.
Anger is a Distraction.
I am told from this Doctor of Psychology that my anger is a distraction. I can not argue with that. How does one address child sexual abuse without anger? Are we not showing our sanity by showing anger? When we ask basic questions to the people who profess to be addressing child sexual abuse and there are seemingly no answers given, does that not provoke anger? I do not know how to walk on egg shells to ask the questions that need to be answered. I do not know how to do that and I do not know how others do it.
When I ask questions that are not answered it is frustrating and I get angry. When I look to the U.S. Government website about child sexual abuse it shows statistics but not much more and when I read to the bottom of the page it states that the site is inactive and is no longer updated. This should make anyone who is interested in addressing child sexual abuse angry. How do we harness that anger and be proactive and really make a difference in bringing the numbers of children molested down and finally bring an end to child sexual abuse? I do not have the answers.....and apparently the people I have contacted do not know either.
Friday, May 14, 2010
We Need to Diagnose Where we are in Addressing Child Sexual Abuse.
I keep getting emails from RAINN. (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network) The last email was proclaiming that giving a donation was a perfect gift to give in your mothers name! I did write back and thanked them in a sarcastic way saying...For Mom? Great! That's the person who married my pedophile! The perfect gift for me is to just have you answer my many emails to you! I have written them many times and have yet to reach anyone who can or is willing to give me concrete answers to basic straightforward questions. For me it is all about the solutions. I have also encouraged the people of RAINN that there should be a forum on their site to brainstorm with all people concerned about how to actually address the issues about child sexual abuse and bring the numbers down! I would love to give my advise as to how this can be done but how can I do that when I do not know what is being done right now? It's like if someone in that organization went to a mechanic, drove up, got out of their car and told them to "fix it" without looking under the hood! The mechanic gets no explanation as to what the car sounds like or if the car "pulls" to one side or the other. The driver just says, "fix it". I don't care how experienced that mechanic is......he or she will never get the job done. So where does that leave me or anyone interested in addressing this issue? It leaves us in the dark. I really do wonder why my emails are not answered. I have asked these people from many organizations very nicely if they could have an open communication with me as to brainstorm about the issues and I get very little back. Once I reach out to many of these organizations I get emails saying I should send them money to them to help in the fight! Well.....does anyone who sends them money get an explanation as to where that money is being used? Do they find out then what the process is as to how they are addressing this issue? I think that is the next step. I will send them an email and tell them I will send them money if they can explain what exactly they do to address the issue and how they approach pedophiles. Is there a set way to deal with the issue or is it all just guess work? How has the process changed over the years and if those processes have not worked are you continuing them or are you trying anything else? We need to diagnose before we proceed in addressing child sexual abuse.
Friday, May 7, 2010
A Letter To the Matriarch of the Family/ How I Feel my Family/Relation See Me
Date of Email:Thu, April 29, 2010 11:25:48 AM
Subject of Email:Calling your sister
To: My Aunt
Hi XXXXX,
I appreciate that you said you would ask your sister XXXXXXX about the family friend named Peter the next time you spoke with her.
I wonder however when that might be and question what would it be for you just make that call.
I wonder what you meant when you said you were happy that I was moving on. In no way did I say that I was "moving on". What I said was that I was moving forward
even though I have found little support from so many people in my life. There is a big difference. I am concerned when it sounds as if you have blocked out
so much in your life. I wonder what exactly you have blocked out and if you understand what that means.
Do you think that I need to "move on" and not continue to try to get people back in my life? Would you ever Skype with me and a therapist to delve into a family legacy
I know to be fact? It would mean so much to me. Maybe it would help you to unlock some hidden things that really need to be addressed. I am only thinking of the
health and welfare of the family.
I know that the man named Peter who was a long time family friend is a predator. Predators have a way of latching on to a situation where there is a vulnerability.
With the instance of Lee drinking so heavily many years ago I am sure that the family farm was a prime target for this reaching and molesting children the way he molested me. I know that Peter was younger than my parents and it is most likely that if he is still around that he is continuing his behavior to this day.
What is shocking to me is the way so many people react to the investigation of predators and family legacies. So many people go out of their way to hid predators and when they do this the family legacy continues for many years. I just read another book about a persons journey of investigating their history of child sexual abuse and it spanned 5 generations! Keep in mind that in no way did any of the details of that 5 generations of investigations come anywhere near to what I remember or what you may have blocked out although some of the blocking out does fit.
Please XXXXX...Think about your actions before you hide or continue to hide what needs to be addressed.
Love,
XXXX
The following letter is yet another try at reaching out to my relation asking them to work with me and address child sexual abuse that has and most likely still exists among us (in my relation). I think back to some very formative years when I was so withdrawn from this world that when I did speak I barely spoke above a whisper. I literally had very little voice about anything in my life or my body. I feel I was so beaten down from all the sexual abuse coupled with the fact that my pedophile was a totally controlling person that my bodily reaction was a natural way for me to react. I remember that my siblings and cousins when gathering in the back yard had to almost beg me to join in. I had to be coaxed repeatedly to be a part of anything. Because of the work that my relation did to bring me out of my introverts way back then I feel that they must feel really "put out" by me in many ways. They did there work years ago and now my job is to keep the silence and keep the good name of the family in tact.
I have said it before and it needs to be repeated.......The foundation that a pedophile puts down when they are abusing their own child is quicksand. Imagine if you will a person who is being molested in their own home and every floor is quicksand. You can only see their face flat on the floor facing upward trying to breath before they go under. You have to raise your voice in order to get a response and you wonder what kind of mental problems do they have that they are so withdrawn. Keep in mind that the natural defences for dealing with the sexual molestation when you are second grade through sixth grade is to bury the memory until you are of an age when you can actually deal with it!
With it being so close to Mother's Day I think back to when I was really young when my own mother would kneel down to give me a hug and she loved me so much that it literally hurt when she hugged me so hard. Now it hurts more that she hasn't hugged me in many many years! Yes Mothers Day is just a few days away and I do not think there will be a letter or card or a phone call to my pedophiles wife as there is too much "bad blood" as she would call it between us. Well, what happens if there is "bad blood" with a person at a hospital? They perform a transfusion! I need a transfusion with myself to my family to make it right and to bring healing. That healing will only happen when and if my relation
work with me to address child sexual abuse. An aunt in a small town near the Wisconsin/ Minnesota border (yet another aunt who shut me out more than 20 years ago) once told me that an uncle of hers "felt her up" and she didn't say a word about it to anyone! This was her way of being an example of what I should do. As I have stated "Each story is different" as far as sexual abuse, but you can hardly compare this persons story with mine as my experience was from the time I was months old to the time I was eighteen years old. The last time in my home town from a priest at a different Catholic Church when I was still trying to be Catholic.
So there you have it. I feel my relatives are put out by me as I have always seemed so needy and that they have done their work with me. I can not put words in my mothers mouth but if she ever spoke about her husband and even hinted that he sexually molested me, I imagine the words would be, "What does that make of my marriage?" What answer do I give her? I guess he liked more than "one flavor"!? There are no simple answers and fewer people talking so how does a person even begin? With my own relation I DO NOT THINK IT WILL EVER BE POSSIBLE! How really sad. There is not a single word or action I can take to Make these people face that I am not trying to draw attention to myself. I am trying to make this family more healthy and put an end to child sexual abuse so it does not continue through generations!
A loving friend told me recently that he thought I had a "blind spot" when I am trying to approach this subject. I am absolutely sure that is true! If I did not have a blind spot I would have given up YEARS AGO and just started a new campagne. It would be along the lines of "Let's Give Pedophiles Free Rein"!. That appears what is happening with my own relation even after more than 20 years of efforts.
There is a song I learned many years ago. It is called "What Would I Do Without My Music?" In that song the words read that "The fighting's More Important Than the Goal"
Well I am not sure if that is true but I WILL keep fighting to bring this issue more into the light and pray for more transfusions.
Subject of Email:Calling your sister
To: My Aunt
Hi XXXXX,
I appreciate that you said you would ask your sister XXXXXXX about the family friend named Peter the next time you spoke with her.
I wonder however when that might be and question what would it be for you just make that call.
I wonder what you meant when you said you were happy that I was moving on. In no way did I say that I was "moving on". What I said was that I was moving forward
even though I have found little support from so many people in my life. There is a big difference. I am concerned when it sounds as if you have blocked out
so much in your life. I wonder what exactly you have blocked out and if you understand what that means.
Do you think that I need to "move on" and not continue to try to get people back in my life? Would you ever Skype with me and a therapist to delve into a family legacy
I know to be fact? It would mean so much to me. Maybe it would help you to unlock some hidden things that really need to be addressed. I am only thinking of the
health and welfare of the family.
I know that the man named Peter who was a long time family friend is a predator. Predators have a way of latching on to a situation where there is a vulnerability.
With the instance of Lee drinking so heavily many years ago I am sure that the family farm was a prime target for this reaching and molesting children the way he molested me. I know that Peter was younger than my parents and it is most likely that if he is still around that he is continuing his behavior to this day.
What is shocking to me is the way so many people react to the investigation of predators and family legacies. So many people go out of their way to hid predators and when they do this the family legacy continues for many years. I just read another book about a persons journey of investigating their history of child sexual abuse and it spanned 5 generations! Keep in mind that in no way did any of the details of that 5 generations of investigations come anywhere near to what I remember or what you may have blocked out although some of the blocking out does fit.
Please XXXXX...Think about your actions before you hide or continue to hide what needs to be addressed.
Love,
XXXX
The following letter is yet another try at reaching out to my relation asking them to work with me and address child sexual abuse that has and most likely still exists among us (in my relation). I think back to some very formative years when I was so withdrawn from this world that when I did speak I barely spoke above a whisper. I literally had very little voice about anything in my life or my body. I feel I was so beaten down from all the sexual abuse coupled with the fact that my pedophile was a totally controlling person that my bodily reaction was a natural way for me to react. I remember that my siblings and cousins when gathering in the back yard had to almost beg me to join in. I had to be coaxed repeatedly to be a part of anything. Because of the work that my relation did to bring me out of my introverts way back then I feel that they must feel really "put out" by me in many ways. They did there work years ago and now my job is to keep the silence and keep the good name of the family in tact.
I have said it before and it needs to be repeated.......The foundation that a pedophile puts down when they are abusing their own child is quicksand. Imagine if you will a person who is being molested in their own home and every floor is quicksand. You can only see their face flat on the floor facing upward trying to breath before they go under. You have to raise your voice in order to get a response and you wonder what kind of mental problems do they have that they are so withdrawn. Keep in mind that the natural defences for dealing with the sexual molestation when you are second grade through sixth grade is to bury the memory until you are of an age when you can actually deal with it!
With it being so close to Mother's Day I think back to when I was really young when my own mother would kneel down to give me a hug and she loved me so much that it literally hurt when she hugged me so hard. Now it hurts more that she hasn't hugged me in many many years! Yes Mothers Day is just a few days away and I do not think there will be a letter or card or a phone call to my pedophiles wife as there is too much "bad blood" as she would call it between us. Well, what happens if there is "bad blood" with a person at a hospital? They perform a transfusion! I need a transfusion with myself to my family to make it right and to bring healing. That healing will only happen when and if my relation
work with me to address child sexual abuse. An aunt in a small town near the Wisconsin/ Minnesota border (yet another aunt who shut me out more than 20 years ago) once told me that an uncle of hers "felt her up" and she didn't say a word about it to anyone! This was her way of being an example of what I should do. As I have stated "Each story is different" as far as sexual abuse, but you can hardly compare this persons story with mine as my experience was from the time I was months old to the time I was eighteen years old. The last time in my home town from a priest at a different Catholic Church when I was still trying to be Catholic.
So there you have it. I feel my relatives are put out by me as I have always seemed so needy and that they have done their work with me. I can not put words in my mothers mouth but if she ever spoke about her husband and even hinted that he sexually molested me, I imagine the words would be, "What does that make of my marriage?" What answer do I give her? I guess he liked more than "one flavor"!? There are no simple answers and fewer people talking so how does a person even begin? With my own relation I DO NOT THINK IT WILL EVER BE POSSIBLE! How really sad. There is not a single word or action I can take to Make these people face that I am not trying to draw attention to myself. I am trying to make this family more healthy and put an end to child sexual abuse so it does not continue through generations!
A loving friend told me recently that he thought I had a "blind spot" when I am trying to approach this subject. I am absolutely sure that is true! If I did not have a blind spot I would have given up YEARS AGO and just started a new campagne. It would be along the lines of "Let's Give Pedophiles Free Rein"!. That appears what is happening with my own relation even after more than 20 years of efforts.
There is a song I learned many years ago. It is called "What Would I Do Without My Music?" In that song the words read that "The fighting's More Important Than the Goal"
Well I am not sure if that is true but I WILL keep fighting to bring this issue more into the light and pray for more transfusions.
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