To all the organizations addressing child sexual abuse that I may have insulted I Sincerely Apologize. I am sure that there are a great many people who are passionate about the dedication to the work they are doing and it appears I have stepped on a few toes. That was NEVER my intention. I have stated that from what I see that the majority of organizations trying to address child sexual abuse are for the most part doing band-aid work. It seems to me that it is like picking dandelions. If you are picking dandelions without pulling the root, what is going to happen? The dandelion is going to grow back time and time again. I say we have to get to the root in order to eradicate the problem. I have asked the questions before and would like to know the answers but as of this writing I have not had any responses.
The questions are:
What are the success rates of the organizations that address child sexual abuse?
What are the procedures of those successful organizations that are different to those less successful?
What were the statistics in your community when your organization started and what are they now?
What are your goals in your organization? What goals have you reached? What goals do you need assistance with? Would more networking with other like minded organizations help you achieve your goals and would that in turn help other organizations reach their goals?
If statistics show that there is success in your community, does it mean the cases of child sexual abuse are going down or do you think it is a possibility that the pedophiles are just getting more clever in their hiding?
Does anyone know at this writing an estimated number of active pedophiles in the United States and what would happen if every one of them were sent to jail?
Does each organization working to end child sexual abuse have experts working in their organization or experts they frequently consult with?
What percentage of experts addressing child sexual abuse are themselves survivors of child sexual abuse?
From the first time there was realization that there was a problem with some adults acting sexually towards children to the present time, what were the statistics then and what are they now?
Does anyone else think that this is like a run away freight train that can not be stopped and does anyone else think that we need to reevaluate the direction we are going in to try to stop child sexual abuse?
Does anyone have the time to network and present a few answers to the questions I have asked?
I intend to copy this post and send it off to as many organizations I can find on the Internet including a few organizations from my home town. I would encourage everyone to copy this posting and send this off to organizations you may know of in order get a few more answers.
I truly believe we need to step back and really work to pull the roots. YES there are a great many (mostly men) who need to be sent to prison for life in order to stop them. There are a great many others who do not need that radical step. Peace to you and as always I do appreciate you for all that you do to help ADDRESS CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Imbalance of Perceptions
I am not well read when it comes to the psychology of child sexual abuse. I am not well read accept for biographical stories, spirituality and artists and their work. The main way I look at a situation is by reason and logic. This may have been written many times and many places before but it seems to me the main reason why there are so many tossed under the bus and deemed to have mental problems is because there is an imbalance in the "Perception or the ABILITY to perceive the actuality of a situation.
I have definite memories of the sexual abuse from infancy to the time I was in about 5Th grade. There is no way my mother is ever going to believe that her husband of almost 50 years ever molested me. There are many people who make sure that no matter what is happening in the house, you always have to keep up appearances. My mother is one of those people. There was no way she could stand by her man and support me as well. What would that mean about her marriage? Has her entire life meant nothing?
The wife is always the one who is hurt worse. You have to face the entire situation and look at all of the people this affects! It effects everyone you ever met and anyone you will ever meet. The ripple effect is vast. The sexual abuse effected you and you act and are different because of it. If I had never been sexually violated my life would have been very different. What has helped me a great deal is that over my formative years in high school I had many years of experience in public speaking. I did 15 years of public speaking starting in my mid twenties and have spoken about all that I am writing about now.
What if the mother did not have to be involved in the addressing child sexual abuse process? That is only if she does not know about it.
There have been some court cases that you see a person step forward and confess to a crime or part of a crime so as not to put there family through such a grueling situation. I am not saying that the police should be involved at all because it seems the more we push with the police the more and more clever people get in hiding when they are unfortunately attracted in a sexual way toward children. What if we just say that this may for the most part be a learned behavior and some do not know why they act sexually upon an infant or child. Maybe the sexual acts they perform are the same sexual acts performed on them when they were "that age". That "that age" being the age that this "tradition" of child sexual abuse in your own situation began.
What would happen if when a person begins to have memories of sexual abuse,that the person in question just comes forward and supports the child. In a perfect world, there would be legal protection for the person coming forward. That may sound crazy to you but if we approach it this way, the mother/wife is protected. There are a great many strong women in this world and I would not deny them the opportunity to be fully involved in the entire process. I just know that my own mother would prefer not to. Sometimes as in my own situation, I did not remember that my own father was at least half of the history of my sexual abuse. My own fathers immediate reaction to my memories of child sexual abuse were, "It DIDN'T HAPPEN!" He of course was thinking of numerous things at the same time. Public knowledge, prison, what would this do to his wife? etc.......
I am sure it was a bombshell close to what happened to me when I first remembered the sexual abuse. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
What if the person who did the sexual abusing just came forward and traced back their own survival to as close to the root as possible. There are many pedophiles who claim to have never been sexually molested. I would say that the majority of them do not remember much of their youths. I feel we have to look more closely at who we really are.
The way I look at it our base is that we are animals. We have skin, hair, fingernails, (claws if you are on one of those "housewives shows" and fur if you are like Robin Williams!) I have written about this before that any animal who's living space is interrupted in any way is going to grow up vastly different than if they were not violated. The actions that the survivor displays is going to look strange and crazy so it is easy to just blame everything on mental illness. Lets stop tossing people under the bus. There are many wife's who have snapped mentally because they just can not rationalize that they love and are married to a man who sexually molests. I would say there is an equal number of survivors who have mentally snapped because they can not believe they were tossed under the bus! Equal measures all around.
I am at a place in my life that I can not just push the vast amount of sexual molestation to the side and pretend that it never happened. I can not wear the rose colored glassed that so many wear these days. I am the person I am as a result of the foundation that was placed before me to walk on in my journey of life. As a Gnostic Christian we believe that we have chosen what we experience. I totally believe this as I actually remember part of that process with my spirit guide. I will not use the word blame here as this is what I chose to experience. The word I will use is "Attribute". This DID happen and you WERE there. Sometimes I walked into a pothole and sometimes it felt as I walked through the Grand Canyon without water for days. Sometimes I do not know how I am still here at all. At those times I Thank God for the people in my life who have helped me survive. I Thank God for the knowledge that I have and I ask for the ability to express what I know and the direction needed to help bring an end to child sexual abuse. Or at least begin to have a legitimate dent if this epidemic. I continue to walk forward and try to get to a garden or keep working on my garden.
I had a therapist many years ago who used that analogy. He told me he liked to look at a persons life as a garden. I suggested that I put down lots of salt to kill what I wanted to kill. He suggested that we pull the weeds. I agreed and he turned out to be one of the most wonderful people I ever met. I want to name him here to thank him but to be polite I will ask him before I do.
I have definite memories of the sexual abuse from infancy to the time I was in about 5Th grade. There is no way my mother is ever going to believe that her husband of almost 50 years ever molested me. There are many people who make sure that no matter what is happening in the house, you always have to keep up appearances. My mother is one of those people. There was no way she could stand by her man and support me as well. What would that mean about her marriage? Has her entire life meant nothing?
The wife is always the one who is hurt worse. You have to face the entire situation and look at all of the people this affects! It effects everyone you ever met and anyone you will ever meet. The ripple effect is vast. The sexual abuse effected you and you act and are different because of it. If I had never been sexually violated my life would have been very different. What has helped me a great deal is that over my formative years in high school I had many years of experience in public speaking. I did 15 years of public speaking starting in my mid twenties and have spoken about all that I am writing about now.
What if the mother did not have to be involved in the addressing child sexual abuse process? That is only if she does not know about it.
There have been some court cases that you see a person step forward and confess to a crime or part of a crime so as not to put there family through such a grueling situation. I am not saying that the police should be involved at all because it seems the more we push with the police the more and more clever people get in hiding when they are unfortunately attracted in a sexual way toward children. What if we just say that this may for the most part be a learned behavior and some do not know why they act sexually upon an infant or child. Maybe the sexual acts they perform are the same sexual acts performed on them when they were "that age". That "that age" being the age that this "tradition" of child sexual abuse in your own situation began.
What would happen if when a person begins to have memories of sexual abuse,that the person in question just comes forward and supports the child. In a perfect world, there would be legal protection for the person coming forward. That may sound crazy to you but if we approach it this way, the mother/wife is protected. There are a great many strong women in this world and I would not deny them the opportunity to be fully involved in the entire process. I just know that my own mother would prefer not to. Sometimes as in my own situation, I did not remember that my own father was at least half of the history of my sexual abuse. My own fathers immediate reaction to my memories of child sexual abuse were, "It DIDN'T HAPPEN!" He of course was thinking of numerous things at the same time. Public knowledge, prison, what would this do to his wife? etc.......
I am sure it was a bombshell close to what happened to me when I first remembered the sexual abuse. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
What if the person who did the sexual abusing just came forward and traced back their own survival to as close to the root as possible. There are many pedophiles who claim to have never been sexually molested. I would say that the majority of them do not remember much of their youths. I feel we have to look more closely at who we really are.
The way I look at it our base is that we are animals. We have skin, hair, fingernails, (claws if you are on one of those "housewives shows" and fur if you are like Robin Williams!) I have written about this before that any animal who's living space is interrupted in any way is going to grow up vastly different than if they were not violated. The actions that the survivor displays is going to look strange and crazy so it is easy to just blame everything on mental illness. Lets stop tossing people under the bus. There are many wife's who have snapped mentally because they just can not rationalize that they love and are married to a man who sexually molests. I would say there is an equal number of survivors who have mentally snapped because they can not believe they were tossed under the bus! Equal measures all around.
I am at a place in my life that I can not just push the vast amount of sexual molestation to the side and pretend that it never happened. I can not wear the rose colored glassed that so many wear these days. I am the person I am as a result of the foundation that was placed before me to walk on in my journey of life. As a Gnostic Christian we believe that we have chosen what we experience. I totally believe this as I actually remember part of that process with my spirit guide. I will not use the word blame here as this is what I chose to experience. The word I will use is "Attribute". This DID happen and you WERE there. Sometimes I walked into a pothole and sometimes it felt as I walked through the Grand Canyon without water for days. Sometimes I do not know how I am still here at all. At those times I Thank God for the people in my life who have helped me survive. I Thank God for the knowledge that I have and I ask for the ability to express what I know and the direction needed to help bring an end to child sexual abuse. Or at least begin to have a legitimate dent if this epidemic. I continue to walk forward and try to get to a garden or keep working on my garden.
I had a therapist many years ago who used that analogy. He told me he liked to look at a persons life as a garden. I suggested that I put down lots of salt to kill what I wanted to kill. He suggested that we pull the weeds. I agreed and he turned out to be one of the most wonderful people I ever met. I want to name him here to thank him but to be polite I will ask him before I do.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Borrow Epathy From Others!
I was reading the following reactions from a great many very caring persons from all over the country and most likely all over the world. The majority of people in this world ARE very caring people and that warms my heart. Let's try to think of the possitive, caring people! Many survivors have been tossed under the bus and as I read the following I thought that many people have never heard such an outcry of support for the survivor and disgust at the perpetrator! Why not just borrow some of that LOVE and EMPATHY? Why not INDEED! If you are a survivor I implore you to read the following and let yourself feel the love and support for the child molested. Let the anger from there mouths be the anger directed at the person or people who molested you. Let your own child within do some real healing. Breath more deeply and let your emotions be filled with knowledge that it WAS NOT YOUR FAULT. If some or many people do not believe that some kind of sexual violation happened to you....KNOW THAT THERE ARE MANY WHO DO BELIEVE YOU!
Ohio father with HIV arrested for raping 6-month-old son
By Casey Glynn Topics Daily Blotter
Lenny Love Jr. (Credit: Hamilton County Justice Center/WKRC)
(CBS/AP) SILVERTON, Ohio - A 29-year-old Ohio father was arrested for raping his infant son while knowingly being infected with HIV, police say.
Police arrested Lenny Love Jr. Saturday after he confessed to sexually assaulting his 6-month-old months ago.
Love was charged with two counts of rape, one count of possession of marijuana and one count of felonious assault.
The victim's grandmother says Love admitted the crime to his father, according to CBS affiliate WOIO.
Lenny Love, Jr. is in the Hamilton County Justice center on a $600,000 bond, reports WOIO.
by tcarrick13 July 7, 2011 6:54 PM EDT
FRY THIS LOW LIFE TRASH.. RAPE HIM
by AndImeanIt July 6, 2011 1:49 PM EDT
I do not want him dead, I want for the rest of his life, for him to be blindfolded 23 hours a day, to walk around with his hands handcuffed to his ankles, with is bare a$$ exposed in prison so he can feel what rape really is like. To rape anyone is horrible, a child is totally unforgiveable, a baby is insane, your own child and you have HIV is a call for torture for the rest of his life. And may he live a long time that way! TORTURED!!!! And may he be punched 60 times each day, 10 for each month of life his baby boy lived! I need to pass out punishment for crimes against children!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by petalkisses25 July 6, 2011 12:56 AM EDT
And what is wrong with the Hamilton County Sheriff's gun? No bullets in the budget? This should have been an automatic death penalty. He admitted it freely. Take one bullet and save the world from monsters like this. They do it once, they'll do it again.
by Tam723 July 5, 2011 6:54 PM EDT
How can our world have come to this... I can't even fathom what he has done. So many crimes against innocent children. I never thought I would say this but I am believing more and more in the saying an eye for an eye. Raping a baby, he should have his ***** cut off so he can never do it again!
by dkb218 July 5, 2011 3:52 PM EDT
***? What is going on in the world these days? How sick does one have to be to do something like this? IF THIS IS TRUE - he should never see the inside of a court.
by allisonburness July 5, 2011 2:02 PM EDT
Sick. Just sick.
by justmyopinion61 July 5, 2011 1:42 PM EDT
Too bad they don't give the death penalty for stuff like this.
I hope we can all send up some prayers for the infant that was so brutally asaulted and the mother and her family.
Ohio father with HIV arrested for raping 6-month-old son
By Casey Glynn Topics Daily Blotter
Lenny Love Jr. (Credit: Hamilton County Justice Center/WKRC)
(CBS/AP) SILVERTON, Ohio - A 29-year-old Ohio father was arrested for raping his infant son while knowingly being infected with HIV, police say.
Police arrested Lenny Love Jr. Saturday after he confessed to sexually assaulting his 6-month-old months ago.
Love was charged with two counts of rape, one count of possession of marijuana and one count of felonious assault.
The victim's grandmother says Love admitted the crime to his father, according to CBS affiliate WOIO.
Lenny Love, Jr. is in the Hamilton County Justice center on a $600,000 bond, reports WOIO.
by tcarrick13 July 7, 2011 6:54 PM EDT
FRY THIS LOW LIFE TRASH.. RAPE HIM
by AndImeanIt July 6, 2011 1:49 PM EDT
I do not want him dead, I want for the rest of his life, for him to be blindfolded 23 hours a day, to walk around with his hands handcuffed to his ankles, with is bare a$$ exposed in prison so he can feel what rape really is like. To rape anyone is horrible, a child is totally unforgiveable, a baby is insane, your own child and you have HIV is a call for torture for the rest of his life. And may he live a long time that way! TORTURED!!!! And may he be punched 60 times each day, 10 for each month of life his baby boy lived! I need to pass out punishment for crimes against children!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by petalkisses25 July 6, 2011 12:56 AM EDT
And what is wrong with the Hamilton County Sheriff's gun? No bullets in the budget? This should have been an automatic death penalty. He admitted it freely. Take one bullet and save the world from monsters like this. They do it once, they'll do it again.
by Tam723 July 5, 2011 6:54 PM EDT
How can our world have come to this... I can't even fathom what he has done. So many crimes against innocent children. I never thought I would say this but I am believing more and more in the saying an eye for an eye. Raping a baby, he should have his ***** cut off so he can never do it again!
by dkb218 July 5, 2011 3:52 PM EDT
***? What is going on in the world these days? How sick does one have to be to do something like this? IF THIS IS TRUE - he should never see the inside of a court.
by allisonburness July 5, 2011 2:02 PM EDT
Sick. Just sick.
by justmyopinion61 July 5, 2011 1:42 PM EDT
Too bad they don't give the death penalty for stuff like this.
I hope we can all send up some prayers for the infant that was so brutally asaulted and the mother and her family.
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