An Al Anon for Families Dealing with Incest/ The Debate On Family Loyalty

I have long thought that there should be an Al Anon type organization for families dealing with incest.  It would run in conjunction with the mandatory filing of legal papers of any sexual abuse or incest memories and followed with the certified  letter to the alleged pedophile or sexual predator to agree to a polygraph test for the sake of an end to child sexual abuse and the sake of your own families health and wellness.

 I have written of many of my family tragedies  here and the reactions and actions that were taken as a result of the family tragedies.  When there was cancer scare there was immediate action to combat the cancer.  When there was a stroke or heart attach there was immediate action with an Aspirin and very quick transportation to a hospital.  Where there was a case of Alzheimer's there was the appropriate action to sustain a quality of life and a group of family and friend who gathered to sustain each other.  When there was any trauma or any medical treatment that needed attention there was prompt and immediate attention.

When there was a memory of child sexual abuse and incest there was complete and total abandonment.  There was a defining silence.

*I looked up "Family Loyalty" and this is what I found.  From the following site.  http://family.jrank.org/pages/554/Family-Loyalty-Conclusion.html

Family loyalty is defined primarily in two different ways: (1) as adherence to norms of filial obligation; and (2) as the level of intergenerational solidarity or closeness between the generations in a family. Both of these definitions have been studied within ethnocultural family contexts. Specifically, much of the research on filial obligation has focused on Asian and Asian immigrant families, while other investigations into the development and maintenance of familistic attitudes and behaviors—the foundation for solidarity—have been done with Hispanic immigrants.
One shortcoming of the literature on family loyalty is that it fails to incorporate broader definitions or measures; that is, the research continues to define and measure loyalty according to adult children's levels of filial obligation or as attitudinal or behavioral congruence or similarity between parents and children. Clearly, other intragenerational measures, such as the quality of children's relationship with siblings and the quality of husband-wife relationships, can be used to measure familism.

Read more: Family Loyalty - Conclusion - Theory, Development, Journal, and Filial - JRank Articles http://family.jrank.org/pages/554/Family-Loyalty-Conclusion.html#ixzz2Fff1w4Y2

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 As far as I am concerned, I should be shown examples of "family loyalty" in order to proceed according to what I have been shown.  Treat me the same way you would like to be treated. 

Do I stay silent with my "family name" if/when they consistently refuse at all costs to address their involvement in incest and child sexual abuse?   

The bottom line is, "What have I got to lose" [when most of my relatives refuse to have anything to do with me for the past 25 years]?  

I have been in contact with two family members for many steps of this journey of survival.  There is an Uncle who is 10 years older than me and an cousin who is about the same age as me.  Recently when I told each person of a step I took in my survival, my cousin wrote back that she was very proud of all that I was doing as result of my many molestations.  My Uncle wrote back very quickly as well and expressed that he hoped that my actions "would be healing".  I certainly appreciated both people for their support but thought that the responses were certainly generational.  My Uncle seemed to me to a great deal more caucious with his support as he may know the older generation in a different way than I do.

In response to my Uncle, I believe that my actions will indeed be healing.   With actions that I take I may not find that my relation/family ever accept me as an incest survivor but I hope that even if I have a few sprouts of ideas of how to actually address this epidemic of child sexual abuse that those sprouts take root many others will build upon the plan that will end incest and child sexual abuse. 

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Is There A Pedophilia Gene? -

Is There A Pedophilia Gene? -

Relationships are Based on History and Experiences

"Relationships are not based on blood.  Relationships are based on history and experiences."  This is a quote by Dr. Phil.

I always like to say, "We are the sum of our parts, but most of us do not remember the sum of our parts.  What I am speaking of is the complete memory of all our past lives.  This easily explains how some very young people can compose music at age 4  or create masterpiece paintings at an early age.  They of course lived many past lives and studied what they are known for "now".

I absolutely believe that past relationships from our relatives or family will continue into other lives if you all choose to reincarnate again and again in order to learn the lessons that you all are trying to learn.  

When a person such as a pedophile, lives a double life and involves you in an incestuous relationship they in turn force you to live a double life too, especially when your relatives insist you never speak of what you survived or risk being tossed under the bus. 

Once you realize what has happened and after you hopefully find the right counselor and support team do you have to ponder your next step to decide if you will try to speak with your relatives about
this difficult issue.   Each persons experience is very personal and they have to weigh the pros and cons of each situation. 

I have not found the statistics on the percentage of incest survivors who are "tossed under the bus" if/when they try to address the issues of child sexual abuse.   I recently saw an interview with Rosanne Barr the well known comedienne / actress who was very vocal about being an incest survivor.  In the recent interview she said it was the worst thing she did in her life, to call the actions incest and to vocal about it.

I have the blessing/curse of remembering conversations with people I know or knew on this planet before we were incarnated in this lifetime.    I do remember that I had a conversation with my parents before we all came to this planet.  My parents did not want me to speak publicly about being a survivor of incest and child sexual abuse.  I agreed to be quiet about it, but when we get to this planet "all bets are off" and I responded to the sexual abuse in the fashion that my parents taught me.  The only thing is that my mother does not believe and never will believe that my father could ever be a pedophile and my father is a Gemini and would never be honest with me or anyone else about the sexual molestation he introduced me to.  It also helps that he is a sociopath. 

Gnostic Christians believe that, Everything you experience in life is everything you have chosen to experience or have agreed to live through for the sake of testing out your spirituality.   I do not use the word "blame" but I do use the word attribute.  

Another belief of Gnostic Christians is that all human souls were created at the same time.  So do not respect your elders.....as we are all the same age.  Respect the people who respect you!  

Remember that God is Perfection.   I remember sitting with my spirit guide deciding all that I wanted to experience in this life.  I remember looking at a type of scanning machine seeing and choosing what I would look like depending on what I chose in this lifetime.    Gnostic Christians believe that there is a Mother and Father God and that the "Honor they Father and thy Mother" Commandment refers to the Mother and Father God.   This does not apply to any man or woman who choose to have a child.


Relationships to me are based on the total history of experiences from all past lives lived with the person in that said relationship.    My parents, for the most part have been very controlling in many past lives I have lived with them.    I cannot apologize to my pedophile.