Years ago a friend of mine witnessed gay bashing at a park. There were many gay men there and two men who were terrorizing them. The two men had bats and were beating any gay man they came in contact with. My friend while very upset at the proceedings was also very angry with the other gay men there. My friend was angry because even though the gay people far outnumbered the terrorists greatly they were not fighting back. The gay men all scattered. Why were they not fighting back? I believe that for one thing gay people have been beaten down in so many ways over a long period of time that they did not have the skills to fight back. There are now more and more laws to protect gay people but this has taken many years and a great deal of working together.
If you look at the situation regarding pedophiles and the young children they molest, the young children they molest greatly outnumber the pedophiles. The way that we the survivors are greatly outnumbered is that there are so many people stepping forward to defend and protect the pedophiles. In that regard it is unfortunate but the survivors are very greatly outnumbered. In my own personal experience, I have almost 30 first cousins on each side of my family and very few will have anything to do with me especially from my paternal side of my family. Cousins I have tried to reconnect with on face book will not confirm our "friendship", a cousin I hugged at a Renaissance Fair recoiled in disgust when she realized who was hugging her, even refusing to answer me when I ask her about her reaction. Many Aunts and Uncles have not answered letters I have written them. My own siblings are not in my life. I feel that over the years every time I send out an "olive branch" it gets chewed up and spit back in my face. It's an old saying of.....The bad news is they won't speak with me, The good news is "They won't speak with me!" So.....What am I losing if these people are not a part of my life? Who were these people to me when I was growing up? If you have never owned an island in the south of France you can never loose an island in the south of France. If you have never really had a family, that being the people who you grew up with you can never really loose a family. You have to create your own family with people who will be loving and supportive of you and who you are. I believe in giving people chances but there comes a time
when you have to accept that some people will never come around and be the supportive people they may sometimes profess to be. There is one person in particular who is the a matriarch in my family who would be a perfect compliment to "Pleasantville". She lives her life looking through rose colored glasses and refuses to address this very difficult family issue. She is not someone I trust anymore and I edit myself when I do any communication with her. I have to live a pretty guarded life with her and people like her. I will try to reach others but I will have to gradually step back if too many olive branches are chewed up and spit back at me.
It is frustrating when I have written to many organizations trying to address child sexual abuse and I get little or no responses.
If I get any response, for the most part I get requests to do public speaking or I get solicitations for money to fund projects that for the most part I do not believe in. One nameless organization asked if I were working with a University. No I am not working with a University...are you? I have often wondered what direction the majority of these organizations are moving and what is their success rate. In asking about their success rate I am asking how they are actually bringing the numbers down. From the time you started your website, how have you helped bring us all closer to stopping child sexual abuse? What are you doing with your organization that is different than the other organizations? Do you see any tangible results with what you are doing? Are there things that you are doing the same as other organizations that are not working? Have you in the course of your website stopped doing something that you know does not create positive results to what you have stated your goal is? Do you welcome survivors of child sexual abuse to speak in an open forum and brainstorm new and innovative directions to address child sexual abuse? One person from an organization trying to address child sexual abuse did write back to me and just stated, See my reply in bold.
WE NEED TO REACH THE PROTECTORS OF OF THE PEDOPHILES. WE NEED TO STOP WITH THE REPETITION OF THE PROJECTS THAT ARE NOT SHOWING ANY PROMISE AND MOVE ON. WE NEED TO GET ALL OF THE POWERFUL ORGANIZATIONS WORKING TOWARD THE SAME GOAL TO BAN TOGETHER TO WORK AS A TEAM AS SYNERGISM WILL HAVE A GREAT IMPACT ON THIS ISSUE.
THERE NEEDS TO BE AN OPEN FORUM OF SURVIVORS WHO CAN BE WELCOMED IN THE MIX. I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A PANEL OF EXPERTS OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE ANSWER ALL THE QUESTIONS THE SURVIVORS HAVE.
