When my father involved me in child porn it was somewhere around 1965. I clearly remember my father speaking with the photographer before our "photo shoot" and the photographer was saying that there would be no touching. After a short talk between my birth father and the photographer my birth father left. I did ask my father in a letter where he went and what he was doing. I suspect he was involved in something sexual with someone in the building but that is only speculation. This was in the basement of a professional building in the down town of where I grew up. There were at least 15-20 children in the basement all nude and playing with different sized kicker balls. The photographer was standing behind a camera on a tripod and there was some kind of black cloth to cover his face like an old camera would have but in this case I believe it was there so no one would be able to recognize him. The town I grew up in has usually had a population around 12,000-13,000 people. If you have read my previous post of my memory of child sexual abuse you know I did not stick around long. I knew this was not right and I was not going to have any part of it. I was going to spend some quality time with my father as this was our time together! I am not even sure how many photos he took of me. I would say there are not many but I did for a short time play with the balls and toss them to other little nude children as instructed. After a short time I gathered up my clothes and walked out the door. I went to the right and walked down the hall to windowed door at the end of the hall and went outside. I sat nude on the single step at the back door with my clothes folded on my lap. There was a small hedge on either side of the door and I could hear the traffic to my right from a busy one way road. I was not there long before my father came out the back door in a hurried panic and asked me if anyone had touched me. I gave him an honest no response. He took me and my clothes to the side of the building away from traffic and dressed me. I was happy that we were now going to have our time together! No so. We left and went right home. He was very angry with me. Keep in mind that this was around 1965. I do not know if there is a way to track down the child porn that did happen that day. I did email the police in my home town to ask if they had any cases of child porn that were older. I do not remember much about the room itself but I do remember large rectangle windows near the top of the walls. They had metal frames. I believe they surrounded the room.
When I was 18 and experimenting with my sexuality I did meet one man who had a house along a river in a nearby college town. He showed me some child porn. I did not look at it for very long and when he noticed my discomfort he took the photos away from me and put them in a top drawer and closed it. I do not think they were from my memories of the basement. All I remember of the photos were naked children and panelled walls. That was in 1981.
I came across some statistics of child porn from an article in a local news paper about a lawyer seeking out and prosecuting people who download and distribute child porn. These are the statistics.
* Size of the online child-porn industry: Multi billions of dollars
* Increase in the number of images online from 1997 to 2003: 1,500 percent
* Number of reports of child pornography from 1998 through April 2009: 594,000
* Number of children whose abuse has been recorded by pornographers in the U.S. alone: More than 1 million
* The vast majority of child-pornography crimes are never prosecuted.
* Quote from a child-pornography victim: "When I was a little girl, and when I was being photographed and raped, I used to try to send messages with my eyes down the lens and hoped that one day a good person might see and come to help us."
I have no idea if there in a continuation of child porn in my home town but I would venture to say given the statistics that there is. There is nothing set up in my small home town as far as an organization to address child sexual abuse. In the college town nearby they do have some programs. I believe if an abuse is not addressed that it will grow. I did recently cut and past my original posting of my memories of child pornography and sent them by email to the small town where I grew up and suggested that they get something in place. I suggested they get in touch with the people in the college town to get assistance. I further suggested they involve some people from a bigger city who have more experience. The email I sent was unanswered.
I sent by email to my families Matriarch a copy of an article about a man who was recently convicted of raping and murdering two young teenagers. In my email I urged her to reconsider her stance about her continued silence of the sexual abuse that I know was a part of my infancy and childhood and the possibility of it continuing with my father. I told her in my email that her inaction leads to more action of a sexually abusive way to more children. I did not receive a response from that email.
The Matriarch in my family was a teacher and former religious! People in all walks of life can choose ignorance. It is more sad when a person of this back round makes this choice. She did tell me in an email that most of her childhood was blocked out. I have no doubt that this family legacy will continue.
Remember.....Inaction will lead to more child sexual abuse.
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