Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Some Organizations May Not Want Pedophiles to Go Away.

This is a letter I wrote to ****, I strongly feel there needs to be a cohesive network for all concerned to address this issue together.

Dear ****,

I am one of the millions of survivors of child sexual abuse and am trying to work to bring the numbers down and possibly brainstorm with others who are working to do the same thing. I have been involved with over 1,200 talks about GLBT issues and many of those talks have delved into the issues of sexual abuse as well. Many of the organizations I have reached out to have been eager for me to speak publicly with their organization but after the many years I have been speaking (as a volunteer) I do not have the time or energy as I am trying just make ends meet (just the same as many people.)

I have recently been speaking with a friend about the frustrations surrounding my inability to find a way to have an open forum not associated with something that will be very public such as facebook as none of us need to face any more rejection or abandonment than we have faced before both from family or friends who just do not believe that anything happened at all. I am sure that no one who is raped or molested wants to hear, "Just get over it!" any more. I have heard this many times over the years and it is not something one "just gets over!" The friend I have been speaking with tells me that no one is going to listen to anyone who does not have a degree. That is difficult to listen to as the cycle of molestation that many of us have endured does not coincide with a great deal of education because when the abuse is happening at such a young age many children have a great deal of trouble just focusing on basic school lessons and basic social education as well. What strikes me is that I am reading a book that was written by a woman about child sexual abuse who has a degree in psychology but in the same breath she allowed her own father to molest her children. It all seems very crazy to me.

I contacted both of my sisters the moment I began having memories of child sexual abuse and warned them not to allow our father to baby sit them alone. I was not listened to and was labeled someone with mental problems. I have recently emailed my younger sister and told her the average age when a person remembers sexual abuse is the early to mid twenties. At that time I will be there for them if they want me to be.

I guess the questions are: How do the survivors make a difference when they are from what I have seen, not involved in the process? Who are the people making the decisions as to the proper way to address this issue? How do we bridge that gap and let all concerned join in the process together? If you do not have a forum where this gap can be bridged can you please tell me where that forum could be that is not open to the general public so as not to have more people criticize and abandon any more than we have been abandoned in the past?

*It is difficult to believe that some may not want the issue of Child Sexual Abuse to Go Away but I believe this may be the case with some organizations I have tried to communicate with. Why you may ask does an organization want child sexual abuse to continue you may ask. Some organizations are able to line their pockets with lots of money as a result of child sexual abuse. Such is the case with some organizations that make a great deal of money when it comes to HIV and AIDS. While donating a percentage to the good cause they are associated with and getting some well meaning celebrities to plead with the general public to send much needed funds they ultimately seem to rake it in.

I have broken off ties with an organization that gets people in touch with therapists and promotes education for people who are survivors of child sexual abuse. They do not claim to be trying to get to the solution to the issue of child sexual abuse and they, from what I can tell do not answer emails from people who like myself ARE trying to get to the solution to the core issue.
I encourage people to support what ever organization they can afford to support but if you do not hear from an organization accept for them asking for money....I would think clearly where you wish to send your hard earned cash. Best of luck to the organization I tried to communicate with.

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