I saw a variety of therapists, some more fitted to my needs than others but I was always interested in joining a group of survivors to see at what point others were with there level of survival. I joined such a group and have gone to the meetings twice so far. The first meeting I was very late due to traffic. 30 minutes late. I sized up the group pretty quickly. The two moderators are there.
I feel I did not make a good impression on them as I always challenge at what stage this world has addressed child sexual abuse and if we have been noticing and addressing this issue for [ ] years........I honestly believe we should be farther along than we are at!
There were 2 monitors and 4 survivors. There was one man who was for the most part falling asleep. I feel that he was the least advanced at the acceptance and the dealing with the issues around child sexual abuse and incest. I was glad the man felt safe enough to find some much needed rest. He felt safe so his body shut down as it needed sleep. There were two people who were very engaging. Eager to voice their opinions with the guidance of the two monitors. There was one man who spoke sometimes.
I feel I am most likely the farthest along with all the steps I have taken from the time I was 27 years old, when I first began having memories of the abuse. I am 51 years old now. That is certainly not a judgment call on the other people in the group. When I joined this group I certainly want to be a viable
contributing, supporting member of this survivals group. I am there to applaud and encourage my fellow survivors of the next steps they and I will take to be as fully functional and be part of community as I have encouraged many times.
I truly believe that messages can come to us in many different forms. We just need to be open to them.
I was watching Star Trek Voyager. It was really good writing and I took the message for myself and want to pass it along here as I believe it is very relevant.
A crew member had been violated, the details are not important to this story..........
The therapist in the story told the crew member who was violated that their thoughts were a turbulent ocean. You need to rise above them. The therapist went on to say, You must allow yourself sufficient time. Do Not attempt to deny the emotional impact of your experience. (I want to extrapolate here to include physical and spiritual experience) Or the damage it did to every aspect of your existence.
*The survivor states, "How can I worry about my own well being when so may people have suffered and died" (Here I will state that the ripples of the effects of child sexual abuse and incest run deep and long)
The therapist reiterates, "You are not responsible for their actions!"
The survivor, "With my closest friends and family, how can I go back to my normal life as if nothing ever happened?!?
The therapist replies, "You Can Not!"
The therapist continues, "This experience will force you to adapt. You are no longer the same person,
and the course of your life will change as a result. Where that new course leads is up to you.