Years ago a friend of mine witnessed gay bashing at a park. There were many gay men there and two men who were terrorizing them. The two men had bats and were beating any gay man they came in contact with. My friend while very upset at the proceedings was also very angry with the other gay men there. My friend was angry because even though the gay people far outnumbered the terrorists greatly they were not fighting back. The gay men all scattered. Why were they not fighting back? I believe that for one thing gay people have been beaten down in so many ways over a long period of time that they did not have the skills to fight back. There are now more and more laws to protect gay people but this has taken many years and a great deal of working together.
If you look at the situation regarding pedophiles and the young children they molest, the young children they molest greatly outnumber the pedophiles. The way that we the survivors are greatly outnumbered is that there are so many people stepping forward to defend and protect the pedophiles. In that regard it is unfortunate but the survivors are very greatly outnumbered. In my own personal experience, I have almost 30 first cousins on each side of my family and very few will have anything to do with me especially from my paternal side of my family. Cousins I have tried to reconnect with on face book will not confirm our "friendship", a cousin I hugged at a Renaissance Fair recoiled in disgust when she realized who was hugging her, even refusing to answer me when I ask her about her reaction. Many Aunts and Uncles have not answered letters I have written them. My own siblings are not in my life. I feel that over the years every time I send out an "olive branch" it gets chewed up and spit back in my face. It's an old saying of.....The bad news is they won't speak with me, The good news is "They won't speak with me!" So.....What am I losing if these people are not a part of my life? Who were these people to me when I was growing up? If you have never owned an island in the south of France you can never loose an island in the south of France. If you have never really had a family, that being the people who you grew up with you can never really loose a family. You have to create your own family with people who will be loving and supportive of you and who you are. I believe in giving people chances but there comes a time
when you have to accept that some people will never come around and be the supportive people they may sometimes profess to be. There is one person in particular who is the a matriarch in my family who would be a perfect compliment to "Pleasantville". She lives her life looking through rose colored glasses and refuses to address this very difficult family issue. She is not someone I trust anymore and I edit myself when I do any communication with her. I have to live a pretty guarded life with her and people like her. I will try to reach others but I will have to gradually step back if too many olive branches are chewed up and spit back at me.
It is frustrating when I have written to many organizations trying to address child sexual abuse and I get little or no responses.
If I get any response, for the most part I get requests to do public speaking or I get solicitations for money to fund projects that for the most part I do not believe in. One nameless organization asked if I were working with a University. No I am not working with a University...are you? I have often wondered what direction the majority of these organizations are moving and what is their success rate. In asking about their success rate I am asking how they are actually bringing the numbers down. From the time you started your website, how have you helped bring us all closer to stopping child sexual abuse? What are you doing with your organization that is different than the other organizations? Do you see any tangible results with what you are doing? Are there things that you are doing the same as other organizations that are not working? Have you in the course of your website stopped doing something that you know does not create positive results to what you have stated your goal is? Do you welcome survivors of child sexual abuse to speak in an open forum and brainstorm new and innovative directions to address child sexual abuse? One person from an organization trying to address child sexual abuse did write back to me and just stated, See my reply in bold.
WE NEED TO REACH THE PROTECTORS OF OF THE PEDOPHILES. WE NEED TO STOP WITH THE REPETITION OF THE PROJECTS THAT ARE NOT SHOWING ANY PROMISE AND MOVE ON. WE NEED TO GET ALL OF THE POWERFUL ORGANIZATIONS WORKING TOWARD THE SAME GOAL TO BAN TOGETHER TO WORK AS A TEAM AS SYNERGISM WILL HAVE A GREAT IMPACT ON THIS ISSUE.
THERE NEEDS TO BE AN OPEN FORUM OF SURVIVORS WHO CAN BE WELCOMED IN THE MIX. I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A PANEL OF EXPERTS OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE ANSWER ALL THE QUESTIONS THE SURVIVORS HAVE.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Check out "Address Child Sexual Abuse" Community Page on Facebook
I am trying to network to branch out and be a support to others who have SURVIVED child sexual abuse. Not all of us have had great support so we have to support each other. In my next step in doing this I have begun a Facebook page with the same title as this blog. A brave woman wrote me and told me that her father had molested her. My advice to her was to seek out professional help when she needed to speak with a professional. These days not many of us have insurance and so we have to find places that charge on a sliding scale. One organization I have found to be very helpful is Family And Children's Services, but seek out someone who is a good match for you. Are you more comfortable speaking with a man or woman? Does this professional have knowledge in this particular situation you need to speak about?
It is important to not isolate yourself. I have in the past at times done this and it is not healthy. Even if it is for a short time go out and try to mingle. Go to a lecture with a friend, maybe out for a coffee and some live music somewhere. It does not need to be for all night. Start with what you are comfortable with and let yourself grow at your own pace. Put up healthy boundaries but do not isolate.
We all need to think of ourselves as SURVIVORS. We are here. The child sexual abuse happened long ago for me. I am still here. I am a survivor. That means I am strong, and so are you. Think of your strengths and let them grow. Trusting is a difficult thing but you must try.
I wish I could think more clearly as it has been a long day and I am going to turn in for now. The note I got from a fellow survivor has invigorated me and has shown me that I am reaching someone. I want to be a support. I do what I can do. For now I will step back and do more tomorrow. Do what YOU can do and take what ever steps forward that you can take.
Be well, and thank you to the young woman who had the courage to tell me that her father had molested her. That was very brave thing to do and I applaud you!
It is important to not isolate yourself. I have in the past at times done this and it is not healthy. Even if it is for a short time go out and try to mingle. Go to a lecture with a friend, maybe out for a coffee and some live music somewhere. It does not need to be for all night. Start with what you are comfortable with and let yourself grow at your own pace. Put up healthy boundaries but do not isolate.
We all need to think of ourselves as SURVIVORS. We are here. The child sexual abuse happened long ago for me. I am still here. I am a survivor. That means I am strong, and so are you. Think of your strengths and let them grow. Trusting is a difficult thing but you must try.
I wish I could think more clearly as it has been a long day and I am going to turn in for now. The note I got from a fellow survivor has invigorated me and has shown me that I am reaching someone. I want to be a support. I do what I can do. For now I will step back and do more tomorrow. Do what YOU can do and take what ever steps forward that you can take.
Be well, and thank you to the young woman who had the courage to tell me that her father had molested her. That was very brave thing to do and I applaud you!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
How Prevelent Is Child Sexual Abuse Near Me?
Just how prevalent is child sexual abuse near me. Over the years I have seen and heard different things that lead me to believe that something inappropriate is happening but what should or can I do in that instance? Many years ago I was near a playground and I overheard a young boy saying the words, "Oh, your just like all the rest!" It reminded me of something I said to a friend (a girl) when I was very young. In my own memories it had to do with sexual abuse. I remember that each day I survived after the sexual abuse I told myself I would tell someone but that day in my childhood never came. Those thoughts consumed my life and I was very lost as a child. It affected my entire being and I shut down in many ways. Could those words be words to pay attention to especially when a child can not express what they are wanting to say and get support and help with? Does a person somehow know they will not get support when they do finally voice the experiences of surviving sexual abuse? Maybe times have changed and children are more believed now. I do not know the statistics.
In speaking of other thing I have heard, there was an apartment a few years ago where I heard a child crying at 3:30 in the morning every morning for at least a week. It may have gone on longer than that but from what I heard it was a week. Furthermore the crying was forced and sounded as if at some point of the crying there was a pressure placed upon the child. It did sound to me that the child could have been being raped. I spoke with a married friend of mine and he told me, "Children cry." I heard some talking from a woman and from what I thought I heard she spoke to the girl and told her she was not being hurt. I know this is disturbing to whom ever will read this as it is disturbing to myself as I relive the experience and I am at a loss as to what I should have done or if I am just formulating these things from my own abusive past.
I was at a motel that provided a buffet breakfast as part of the price of the room. There was a young girl who was sitting with a man as they had breakfast and she had a towel over her head. I could not see her very well with the towel covering most of her face but she seemed very depressed and certainly trying to hide. I immediately thought that she was maybe a child in a very dangerous situation. The man sat and ate his breakfast and did not speak with the girl as she occasionally had a utensil full of breakfast and fed herself under the towel. I do not know what I have the power to do in this kind of situation. I feel totally out of sorts. I do not know if the little girl behaved badly and was given a spanking or any real concrete details of what occurred to make this little girl behave as she did. I do not know child psychology to make any judgement as to what happened but I do know what I thought. I thought the man was a father or uncle or (?) was a pedophile and that I wanted to find a way to help the little girl. I wanted to talk with her to find out why she was hiding under the towel. I wanted to get her away from a man who I thought was harming her. But I didn't know what I could/should do, and I did nothing. I must find out my powers and my abilities to act upon what I see. I need to investigate what I can do the next time. We all need to be more proactive.
In speaking of other thing I have heard, there was an apartment a few years ago where I heard a child crying at 3:30 in the morning every morning for at least a week. It may have gone on longer than that but from what I heard it was a week. Furthermore the crying was forced and sounded as if at some point of the crying there was a pressure placed upon the child. It did sound to me that the child could have been being raped. I spoke with a married friend of mine and he told me, "Children cry." I heard some talking from a woman and from what I thought I heard she spoke to the girl and told her she was not being hurt. I know this is disturbing to whom ever will read this as it is disturbing to myself as I relive the experience and I am at a loss as to what I should have done or if I am just formulating these things from my own abusive past.
I was at a motel that provided a buffet breakfast as part of the price of the room. There was a young girl who was sitting with a man as they had breakfast and she had a towel over her head. I could not see her very well with the towel covering most of her face but she seemed very depressed and certainly trying to hide. I immediately thought that she was maybe a child in a very dangerous situation. The man sat and ate his breakfast and did not speak with the girl as she occasionally had a utensil full of breakfast and fed herself under the towel. I do not know what I have the power to do in this kind of situation. I feel totally out of sorts. I do not know if the little girl behaved badly and was given a spanking or any real concrete details of what occurred to make this little girl behave as she did. I do not know child psychology to make any judgement as to what happened but I do know what I thought. I thought the man was a father or uncle or (?) was a pedophile and that I wanted to find a way to help the little girl. I wanted to talk with her to find out why she was hiding under the towel. I wanted to get her away from a man who I thought was harming her. But I didn't know what I could/should do, and I did nothing. I must find out my powers and my abilities to act upon what I see. I need to investigate what I can do the next time. We all need to be more proactive.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Unfair to Push The Issue of addressing child sexual abuse?
Is it unfair to push the issue of addressing child sexual abuse?
I have been having some wonderful discussions and debates with a good friend of mine. In our talks my friend pointed out a situation with his family about physical violence. My friends brother forbid his father from seeing his children because of the fathers history of being physically abusive. My friends brother forbid their father from seeing his children unless he sought therapy. The entire family joined in and while it was very difficult at times and opened some wounds it was necessary in order to stop that cycle from continuing. I liken it to a type of cancer that while it is not visible it is still there and has the potential of surfacing and many things could trigger that kind of outburst.
The same dynamics apply to a family who is damaged by a sexual predator. Not exactly in the same way but the outline is there. A sexual predator is a hidden person. You can not tell from looking at them that they are attracted to a child in a sexual way and many things could trigger that predator from acting upon their desires. In my situation I do not have the leverage that my friends brother had. My own "family" chose to not speak to me for years and what would I say to them? We all have to do group therapy or I won't let you see my CAT!" That's not going to go very far! I have tried with the most urgency to have the Matriarch take a stand with me but for over 20 years of letters, phone calls and emails the woman would not budge. I am truly baffled. The teacher and former religious has chosen ignorance over knowledge and I just can not wrap my head around that one. I used to have such respect for her but now I only feel pity.
My debating friend suggested that this matriarch is just not able to address this issue. It would be the breaking point of her life and would in fact be damaging to her physiologically. My view of the issue is if nothing is done there stands the chance of sexual abuse in my family to continue. If she does nothing than she is in fact the continuation of child sexual abuse in my family and in the community where my sexual abuser lives. This matriarch stated in an email that she has blocked out most of her childhood. This is a sure sign that she herself has been molested. There is a patern here that should not be ignored. There is that word again. I know of a cousin who had a falling out with his father. My own father/molester had a very close relationship with that uncle. I believe my uncle was most likely a phedophile as well. I contacted my cousin to ask if he would tell me of his fathers and his falling out. That was a few months ago and i doubt that will ever happen. If that cousin would be willing to open up and compare notes as to what our abusers did to us it would add validity to the history of child sexual abuse that does most likely exist. I do wonder how long this history really goes back? How many generations have kept silent and how many in the future will be affected as a result of that silence?
I have mentioned this before that when I began having memories of child sexual abuse at age 27 I contacted both of my sisters. I explained to them that a person usually remembers child sexual abuse in their mid to late twenties. If that happens with my nieces and nephews I will be there for them. I do not have faith for my own generation of the family. I do have hope for our families future.
I have been having some wonderful discussions and debates with a good friend of mine. In our talks my friend pointed out a situation with his family about physical violence. My friends brother forbid his father from seeing his children because of the fathers history of being physically abusive. My friends brother forbid their father from seeing his children unless he sought therapy. The entire family joined in and while it was very difficult at times and opened some wounds it was necessary in order to stop that cycle from continuing. I liken it to a type of cancer that while it is not visible it is still there and has the potential of surfacing and many things could trigger that kind of outburst.
The same dynamics apply to a family who is damaged by a sexual predator. Not exactly in the same way but the outline is there. A sexual predator is a hidden person. You can not tell from looking at them that they are attracted to a child in a sexual way and many things could trigger that predator from acting upon their desires. In my situation I do not have the leverage that my friends brother had. My own "family" chose to not speak to me for years and what would I say to them? We all have to do group therapy or I won't let you see my CAT!" That's not going to go very far! I have tried with the most urgency to have the Matriarch take a stand with me but for over 20 years of letters, phone calls and emails the woman would not budge. I am truly baffled. The teacher and former religious has chosen ignorance over knowledge and I just can not wrap my head around that one. I used to have such respect for her but now I only feel pity.
My debating friend suggested that this matriarch is just not able to address this issue. It would be the breaking point of her life and would in fact be damaging to her physiologically. My view of the issue is if nothing is done there stands the chance of sexual abuse in my family to continue. If she does nothing than she is in fact the continuation of child sexual abuse in my family and in the community where my sexual abuser lives. This matriarch stated in an email that she has blocked out most of her childhood. This is a sure sign that she herself has been molested. There is a patern here that should not be ignored. There is that word again. I know of a cousin who had a falling out with his father. My own father/molester had a very close relationship with that uncle. I believe my uncle was most likely a phedophile as well. I contacted my cousin to ask if he would tell me of his fathers and his falling out. That was a few months ago and i doubt that will ever happen. If that cousin would be willing to open up and compare notes as to what our abusers did to us it would add validity to the history of child sexual abuse that does most likely exist. I do wonder how long this history really goes back? How many generations have kept silent and how many in the future will be affected as a result of that silence?
I have mentioned this before that when I began having memories of child sexual abuse at age 27 I contacted both of my sisters. I explained to them that a person usually remembers child sexual abuse in their mid to late twenties. If that happens with my nieces and nephews I will be there for them. I do not have faith for my own generation of the family. I do have hope for our families future.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Fathers Day/ Pedophiles Day?
Being a survivor of child sexual abuse from many sources I have very mixed emotions regarding Fathers Day. When I first began having memories at age 27 I felt it important to celebrate the day in some form, so what I decided to do was make some calls and
wish specific men a "Happy Fathers Day". These specific men were not fathers in the bioligical sense of the word but were substancial and very learned men who were mentors to many younger children. A friend of mine was a lawyer who specifically donated time to a community group to give leagal advice. He also had some neices and nephews who he mentored. There were also a few friends who were teachers. One gave many talks in schools about social issues and the other was a teacher and lover of the yo-yo so he taught the yo-yo after school and was a mentor to a great many young people. All of these men were very loved and respected and while I had personal problems I felt it nice to honor amazing men who were a kind of suragate fathers. They gave good sound fatherly advice and genuinely cared when sometimes the biological father just did not have the skills to reach their own child.
When I think of my own situation I immediately think of "phedophiles day". That is nothing to celebrate. I recently wrote to a cousin I reconnected with on facebook to ask him if he would tell me of he and his fathers trouble relationship before his father died. That was 2 months ago and he has not responded. I believe my cousin may have been molested as well. It affects each person differntly and depending on if you are gay, bi or straight it leads to different complications in life. My cousin is married.
One of the last times I saw him was many years ago and I bought him a drink at a bar when I ran into him. He told me he was cutting back on drinking but still did consume that drink. On facebook he informed me he was married. I think it is his 2nd wife. I think he has a child from the first woman he was with. I am not entirely clear on any of his curcumstances. I have the feeling he kind of "sold out" on the "It didn't happen thing" that so many families impose on survivors of child sexual abuse. The kind of thing were a person is told they will be disowned or left out of wills if they speak of any of there supposed past. The
molested person is subjected to a lot of work and self denial and loss of self in the process. I do not feel you can fully heal without really opening up at least to yourself and others in your own family where the molestation may still be happening. I have no right to judge my cousin and wish him no ill will, it's just that as I continue on my own journey of exploration and healing both with in myself and with trying to reach my own birth family it is just another road block for me. I really do not believe that there will ever be any open honest discussions about child sexual abuse. What will happen is it may be in the next generation but that is sad because that means that the sexual abuse is continuing even as I type this out.
Even if you are not a survivor of child sexual abuse try to think of a few men you feel are contributing to the well being of young
people and are surragate fathers who you can call and wish them a "Happy Fathers Day". It will brighten their day and make you feel good at the same time! This kind of action brings about a healing.
Happy Fathers Day!
wish specific men a "Happy Fathers Day". These specific men were not fathers in the bioligical sense of the word but were substancial and very learned men who were mentors to many younger children. A friend of mine was a lawyer who specifically donated time to a community group to give leagal advice. He also had some neices and nephews who he mentored. There were also a few friends who were teachers. One gave many talks in schools about social issues and the other was a teacher and lover of the yo-yo so he taught the yo-yo after school and was a mentor to a great many young people. All of these men were very loved and respected and while I had personal problems I felt it nice to honor amazing men who were a kind of suragate fathers. They gave good sound fatherly advice and genuinely cared when sometimes the biological father just did not have the skills to reach their own child.
When I think of my own situation I immediately think of "phedophiles day". That is nothing to celebrate. I recently wrote to a cousin I reconnected with on facebook to ask him if he would tell me of he and his fathers trouble relationship before his father died. That was 2 months ago and he has not responded. I believe my cousin may have been molested as well. It affects each person differntly and depending on if you are gay, bi or straight it leads to different complications in life. My cousin is married.
One of the last times I saw him was many years ago and I bought him a drink at a bar when I ran into him. He told me he was cutting back on drinking but still did consume that drink. On facebook he informed me he was married. I think it is his 2nd wife. I think he has a child from the first woman he was with. I am not entirely clear on any of his curcumstances. I have the feeling he kind of "sold out" on the "It didn't happen thing" that so many families impose on survivors of child sexual abuse. The kind of thing were a person is told they will be disowned or left out of wills if they speak of any of there supposed past. The
molested person is subjected to a lot of work and self denial and loss of self in the process. I do not feel you can fully heal without really opening up at least to yourself and others in your own family where the molestation may still be happening. I have no right to judge my cousin and wish him no ill will, it's just that as I continue on my own journey of exploration and healing both with in myself and with trying to reach my own birth family it is just another road block for me. I really do not believe that there will ever be any open honest discussions about child sexual abuse. What will happen is it may be in the next generation but that is sad because that means that the sexual abuse is continuing even as I type this out.
Even if you are not a survivor of child sexual abuse try to think of a few men you feel are contributing to the well being of young
people and are surragate fathers who you can call and wish them a "Happy Fathers Day". It will brighten their day and make you feel good at the same time! This kind of action brings about a healing.
Happy Fathers Day!
Friday, June 11, 2010
Girl 27 / What Number Was I And How Many More Will Be Counted?
In 1937, Patricia Douglas, a straight-laced, 17-year-old studio dancer was sent by a casting agent to what she thought was a film call. She ended up at a MGM Studios sales convention "stag" party where she was manhandled and eventually raped and beaten by an out-of-town salesman.
When she tried to seek justice, she got screwed again - this time by everyone from top MGM brass, the district attorney, the press, and key witnesses to her doctor, lawyer and own mother. The emotional ripple effect of that crime has been felt by three generations to-date.
Flash forward 65 years to Hollywood historian, author and filmmaker David Stenn's discovery of Douglas' story in old newspapers while researching a Jean Harlow biography and pursuing the truth, much to the chagrin of Douglas who gave up hoping for justice long ago.
GIRL 27 is not only a documentary about a powerful studio scandal and cover-up, it's also the story of how an 85-year-old woman overcomes decades of pain, fear and disappointment to learn to trust someone again when they say "I want to help you find justice, vindication, peace." As such, I liked that the film shows the development of Stenn and Douglas' friendship and the emotional bond they formed.
The most compelling part of the film is Douglas' on-camera recollections, speaking about the rape for the first time ever. (She was never interviewed for any of the exploitative newspaper articles of the day.) This is a woman who needed to feel, and did ultimately feel, heard and understood.
There's lot to love about this film besides the courage and heroic beauty of Patricia Douglas. Vintage film clips showing how violence against women was treated by Hollywood at the time, interviews with family members of key players in the story and insights provided by experts such as actress Diana Carey (herself a victim of studio system sexual harassment), author Judy Lewis (the daughter of Clark Gable and Loretta Young, and victim of a Hollywood scandal cover-up), attorney Michael Taitelman and legal analyst Greta Van Susteren.
I'd highly recommend viewing the DVD while listening to Stenn's audio commentary track. He provides lots of relevant insights and additional facts pertaining to the case and Hollywood history, as well as background tid-bits on the making of the documentary. I thought it was one of the more compelling commentary tracks I've heard in years.
This movie review was from Lisa Burks.
It is an amazing true story of a very brave young girl who was brutally raped. It vastly effected her entire life and altered her direction greatly. I recommend you watch this movie and think about how many life stories are not told. (The movie is available to watch online.) Think about the children and young adults who are molested and raped and never heard about. Many lives who's paths are altered. Many who turn to drugs and prostitution. Many who have severe depression and those who commit suicide not due to the molestation they live through but because they can't face the rejection and non support from their own family's. What number was I and how many more peoples lives will be numbered or more importantly, how many more childrend will not be counted when they are molested? We need to ban together as a family and pull open the curtains and stop hiding the people who are largely left to continue their sexual deviance towards children and young adults. The title "Girl 27" refers to Patricia Douglas as she was the 27Th girl on the list of many girls called to this "MGM Barn" under the pretext of a movie call. I am posting some statistics form a wonderful website "Darkness to Light".
The statistics are shocking
* 1 in 4 girls is sexually abused before the age of 18.
* 1 in 6 boys is sexually abused before the age of 18.
* 1 in 5 children are solicited sexually while on the internet.
* Nearly 70% of all reported sexual assaults (including assaults on adults) occur to children ages 17 and under.
* An estimated 39 million survivors of childhood sexual abuse exist in America today.
Even within the walls of their own homes, children are at risk for sexual abuse
* 30-40% of victims are abused by a family member.
* Another 50% are abused by someone outside of the family whom they know and trust.
* Approximately 40% are abused by older or larger children whom they know.
* Therefore, only 10% are abused by strangers.
Sexual abuse can occur at all ages, probably younger than you think
* The median age for reported abuse is 9 years old.
* More than 20% of children are sexually abused before the age of 8.
* Nearly 50% of all victims of forcible sodomy, sexual assault with an object, and forcible fondling are children under 12.
Watch"Girl 27" and make the decision to get involved and NOT HIDE anyone you know has or suspect has molested or raped a young person. If you have been told by a neice or nephew or other relative that a family member has molested them, take the time and steps to investigate and not just brush them away. The worst thing you can do is NOTHING. It only reoffends the survivor of sexual abuse and allows more molestation to coninue. DON'T LET THIS BE A PART OF YOUR FAMILY LEGACY, IT IS NOTHING TO BE PROUD OF!
When she tried to seek justice, she got screwed again - this time by everyone from top MGM brass, the district attorney, the press, and key witnesses to her doctor, lawyer and own mother. The emotional ripple effect of that crime has been felt by three generations to-date.
Flash forward 65 years to Hollywood historian, author and filmmaker David Stenn's discovery of Douglas' story in old newspapers while researching a Jean Harlow biography and pursuing the truth, much to the chagrin of Douglas who gave up hoping for justice long ago.
GIRL 27 is not only a documentary about a powerful studio scandal and cover-up, it's also the story of how an 85-year-old woman overcomes decades of pain, fear and disappointment to learn to trust someone again when they say "I want to help you find justice, vindication, peace." As such, I liked that the film shows the development of Stenn and Douglas' friendship and the emotional bond they formed.
The most compelling part of the film is Douglas' on-camera recollections, speaking about the rape for the first time ever. (She was never interviewed for any of the exploitative newspaper articles of the day.) This is a woman who needed to feel, and did ultimately feel, heard and understood.
There's lot to love about this film besides the courage and heroic beauty of Patricia Douglas. Vintage film clips showing how violence against women was treated by Hollywood at the time, interviews with family members of key players in the story and insights provided by experts such as actress Diana Carey (herself a victim of studio system sexual harassment), author Judy Lewis (the daughter of Clark Gable and Loretta Young, and victim of a Hollywood scandal cover-up), attorney Michael Taitelman and legal analyst Greta Van Susteren.
I'd highly recommend viewing the DVD while listening to Stenn's audio commentary track. He provides lots of relevant insights and additional facts pertaining to the case and Hollywood history, as well as background tid-bits on the making of the documentary. I thought it was one of the more compelling commentary tracks I've heard in years.
This movie review was from Lisa Burks.
It is an amazing true story of a very brave young girl who was brutally raped. It vastly effected her entire life and altered her direction greatly. I recommend you watch this movie and think about how many life stories are not told. (The movie is available to watch online.) Think about the children and young adults who are molested and raped and never heard about. Many lives who's paths are altered. Many who turn to drugs and prostitution. Many who have severe depression and those who commit suicide not due to the molestation they live through but because they can't face the rejection and non support from their own family's. What number was I and how many more peoples lives will be numbered or more importantly, how many more childrend will not be counted when they are molested? We need to ban together as a family and pull open the curtains and stop hiding the people who are largely left to continue their sexual deviance towards children and young adults. The title "Girl 27" refers to Patricia Douglas as she was the 27Th girl on the list of many girls called to this "MGM Barn" under the pretext of a movie call. I am posting some statistics form a wonderful website "Darkness to Light".
The statistics are shocking
* 1 in 4 girls is sexually abused before the age of 18.
* 1 in 6 boys is sexually abused before the age of 18.
* 1 in 5 children are solicited sexually while on the internet.
* Nearly 70% of all reported sexual assaults (including assaults on adults) occur to children ages 17 and under.
* An estimated 39 million survivors of childhood sexual abuse exist in America today.
Even within the walls of their own homes, children are at risk for sexual abuse
* 30-40% of victims are abused by a family member.
* Another 50% are abused by someone outside of the family whom they know and trust.
* Approximately 40% are abused by older or larger children whom they know.
* Therefore, only 10% are abused by strangers.
Sexual abuse can occur at all ages, probably younger than you think
* The median age for reported abuse is 9 years old.
* More than 20% of children are sexually abused before the age of 8.
* Nearly 50% of all victims of forcible sodomy, sexual assault with an object, and forcible fondling are children under 12.
Watch"Girl 27" and make the decision to get involved and NOT HIDE anyone you know has or suspect has molested or raped a young person. If you have been told by a neice or nephew or other relative that a family member has molested them, take the time and steps to investigate and not just brush them away. The worst thing you can do is NOTHING. It only reoffends the survivor of sexual abuse and allows more molestation to coninue. DON'T LET THIS BE A PART OF YOUR FAMILY LEGACY, IT IS NOTHING TO BE PROUD OF!
Monday, June 7, 2010
Awareness Walks and Getting to the Root of Child Sexual Abuse
Awareness walks have been around for a great many years. Everywhere you turn you see them. One of the most recognized is of breast cancer awareness walks. They have the pink shirts and pink ribbons. They have testimonials of how many years they have survived. They have a huge following of family and friends who support them and walk with them and when they die they have many who walk in their honor and raise money for more research and to help pay bills of the women who are dealing with breast cancer at the present time. I am very happy for their support of each other. It is wonderful to see the care and support those mostly women and some men are getting. I recently saw one of those many commercials for a breast cancer walk and wondered what it would be like if there was such an outpouring of support for this very prevalent epidemic of child sexual abuse. I am 47 years old and I would have a shirt on it that read I was a survivor for 47 years! My own personal journey of a survivor started when I was only months old! The many different types of walks all began in different ways. For instance I know that it took many years for any kind of walks dealing with any kind of cancer. There was a tremendous stigma about cancer and many people thought they could contract it by just being near a person with cancer. There was not support back then as they have today. For years there was a huge fear about A.I.D.S. and again it took years to get people educated about it and the ways you can contract H.I.V. which can lead to A.I.D.S. There are many walks and they all start with a few that lead into the many. Many of the walks are faced with protesters. Many walks evolve in many different ways. Some of the first gay pride marches had people dressed in suites and ties. The women, lesbian or not were in dresses. The gay pride marches and pride fests in some places were places to vent and were sometimes laced with a great deal of hate to heterosexuals. Now the gay pride parades have very few protesters and a great many families join in the Gay Pride Fest. I know that there are some awareness groups about child sexual abuse and I believe there are some gatherings that may take the form of awareness walks but it seems to me that they are in their infancy.
To have the kind of walks that will draw the attention to the epidemic of child sexual abuse there needs to be a great deal more awareness and a great deal more education. A great deal more education and a great deal less silence and hiding the people that molest children. Families, meaning all your relatives and not just extended families you create when your own relatives turn their backs on the survivors, need to band together and address this as a united group. There will be tears and pain at first but that's the only way to get to the root of the cancer that will grow in a relation if the cancer of child sexual abuse is not addressed directly. Who will walk with the survivors?
To have the kind of walks that will draw the attention to the epidemic of child sexual abuse there needs to be a great deal more awareness and a great deal more education. A great deal more education and a great deal less silence and hiding the people that molest children. Families, meaning all your relatives and not just extended families you create when your own relatives turn their backs on the survivors, need to band together and address this as a united group. There will be tears and pain at first but that's the only way to get to the root of the cancer that will grow in a relation if the cancer of child sexual abuse is not addressed directly. Who will walk with the survivors?
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