A Sexual Abuse Survivor is Always at The Scene Of the Crime

The scene of the crime has always been about the location, as in the address or building.  It occurs to me that being the survivor of sexual abuse, you are always at the scene of the crime.    Your body is your house.  The vehicle that houses your Soul.  This makes things very complicated.


                                                                    Uncounted Survivor




                                                                   

Steps to Recovery of Incest

There are many different theories about the process of recovery of incest and child sexual abuse.
This is one that I thought was very clear and it works for me.  There are still steps that I need to work through.  I may need to step back and go through a step I thought I was through or go to a deeper level of understanding to go on to the next level.  That is what I have placed before myself.  I believe in setting goals but have the realization that the real healing process takes time.  If you are a survivor as well please check out this site.  If it does not work for you, By All Means Keep Looking For Something or Someone who Can Help!  It is Important to Take the Steps.

Copy and paste this addy below.  I am not tech savvy to have you just click ON it.  Sorry.  It is a very good site with a great deal of Healing Advice.  

http://www.womensweb.ca/violence/incest/recovery.php

An Episode of Dissociation Explained to My Former Manager in Hospitality

Dear Lori,

This letter is to apologize and explain what happened at a business meeting when I was working at [The Hotel you Manage].

What you and the others at the meeting witnesses was an episode of dissociation.
I explained during my initial interview that I had done 15 years of public speaking about social justice issues and caregiving as I was a long time companion to a man living with AIDS but I did not at the time explain that I also spoke at great length about being an incest and child sexual abuse survivor.

Throughout my life there have been episodes of dissociation caused by different triggers.  I am not aware of all the triggers but I am evaluating them and beginning to put them into some kind of order.  I know that living in a house where I was sexually molested by my father for 10 years caused me to not feel loved as an infant and young child so there were panic attacks there.  I know that sometimes a trigger is just someone being kind to me and when that happens, sometimes a younger version of myself has emerged and I revert into a child like state and that is when you witnessed
the dissociation at the meeting at [the Hotel].   It is almost like a split personality and when it happened I was not even aware that it happened until a few days later.

In the more than 25 years I have been addressing the issues of incest and child sexual abuse I have contacted my “family” but no one on my paternal side will speak about this family tragedy.

At present my blog has had over 8,000 hits.  Since I have no tech savvy the blog reads a much lower # and I cannot fix that.  I also have been writing and posting on a facebook page with the same name.  Address Child Sexual Abuse

One of my earliest posts on my blog was a detailed list of most of my memories of the incest and child sexual abuse.  I have it enclosed here.  Read it if you want or don’t as it is very disturbing and not really necessary for you to see to be an understanding person with what I and many others deal with on a daily basis.   Sexual abuse survivors have to deal with survival issues for the rest of their lives.

In AA the 8th step is to make amends for past actions.  I am working on a “Steps” list for sexual abuse survivors and I liken this step to the #8 on their list as a way of explaining, apologizing and educating people as to what this is all about.

Once again I am sorry that you witnessed my episode of dissociation.  I am not a crazy person, I am only severely damaged.....but I am healing.  And trying to bring healing to my fellow survivors.

Sincerely,





I do not know what others will feel about my choice of disclosure.  I thought long and hard about what I would say and after writing this letter over and over in my mind this is what I came up with.   I consider myself spiritual and I must say that whenever I have prayed for "words", that prayers has ALWAYS been answered.  Whenever I have prayed for the right words to say in public speaking or if I am posting on my blog or Facebook page or if I need to speak with someone about a difficult situation
I have always had a great deal of assistance from the Other Side (Heaven).  And I am very grateful for that!  Prayer is Good!

Abandoned Human Rescue / Incest Orphans

There are numerous videos online that show caring people out rescuing abandoned animals.  Often times it is a dog living on the streets because the owners moved or they just let the dog out loose because they could not care of the animal.

The videos have soft sweet piano and violin music to evoke the emotions of hardship that the animal faces on their own.  The people doing the rescue toss a part of a burger to the animal they want to rescue and calm the animal down showing the animal they mean no harm.  They eventually get a loose rope around the animals neck and bring it to a shelter where they bathe and do a medical and micro chip check.

I have been thinking that their needs to be more ways to reach the humans who are abandoned due to child sexual abuse and incest.  I have begun to think of myself as an Incest Orphan.

To my knowledge there is not a set procedure to round up and nurture incest orphans back into society and there will not be unless someone just steps forward to suggest such a thing.  I am doing that now.

Please join in the conversation.  

A Work In Progress

UNDERGROUND RAILROADED

The Undergrouind Railroad was an amazing thing that helped free many slaves. Safe houses with food on a long and dangerous journey. Loving, caring people worked diligently to make this possible.  It was a Noble Achievement.

There is another kind of railroad that is going on right now as you readthis. I like to call it the Underground Railroaded.

THE UNDERGROUND RAILROADED

The survivors of child sexual abuse are the Underground Railroaded. We are not being taken seriously. We are the people deemed to have mental impairments. People try to silence us.

This is the antithesis of the former railroad. This is where predators are being swept away in hidden passages, hushed hallways leading to freedom and safety where they can do more harm and continue to steal childhoods away from more children. And disrupt the harmony of any family that survivor is a part of. Most likely that "family" will not support that survivor.

There is a map in this Wikipedia link. You can see the Underground Railroad in red. We all know that incest and child sexual abuse are an epidemic in this country and it occurs in every state. What would the underground railroad of predators and their protectors look like?!?

Underground Railroad - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The Underground Railroad was a network of secret routes and safe houses used by 19th-century slaves of African descent in the United States to escape to free...

EN.WIKIPEDIA.ORG

Letter To Family Priest [a work in progress]

I am writing you in a time of dire need for my family.  Over the years I have done 15 years of public speaking about my survival of child sexual abuse and incest.  I have tried for over 20 years of speaking with my family about my survival to no avail and in the last 3.5 years I have blogged and most recently I have a Facebook page.

As you can see I am doing my part about Addressing Child Sexual Abuse.

I am sure you are aware of the difficulties that many churches are dealing with in our fight to prevent and address the needs of the survivors of child sexual abuse as well as the unfortunate men who are attracted to infants and children in a controlling sexual way.  As it stands now, for some reason I have found that the majority of support and empathy somehow comes to land in the lap of the predator or child molester.

Coming from the stand point of the survivor I thing it might be just so much more easy to
toss the survivor under the bus as has happened with me.  That is unfortunate but I have grown much more spiritual as a result so I do look at the bright side of things!

The reason I am writing to you in this time of family crisis is that after 20 years I really do need to tell my story and come out as a child sexual abuse survivor.  It is a logical step in my healing and recovery and with my knowledge and insight about new ways to address this issue I am sure that We will make great strides in combatting this epidemic.  I am giving my family every opportunity to join in this discussion about family health and I am asking you to join in as well.  I am sure that we can all agree that this Is an epidemic and we are all concerned or we all should be seeing that I am a survivor of incest from the [___________] family.  After so many years of showing and having respect and family loyalties to the [__________] family I think it is time for my family to show me as much respect and loyalty that I have shown them.  That is only fair.

*A work in progress.  I am thinking it might even be a template for others to do a Group Coming Out.
There would be portions of the script that other survivors would change to suit what they have done for the cause or personal struggles that you have survived that some may have witnessed that would be relevant to you….but use as much text as you would like.  Once I have the full text clarified I will do a boost on Facebook.

I do appreciate anyone checking in and please contact me if you want to share your story of survival or if you want to brainstorm about how to address these issues or if you need a shoulder.

Please Take Care.