The lived in three different houses in my early life. I was molested in all three places so I never felt safe.
Being a Gnostic Christian I believe that all human souls were created at the same exact time which explains that, "All men are created equal".
I had many panic attacks and was always moody. In turn I never bonded with anyone in my "family".
My siblings tried many times to have me join in with many activities but I was always unpredictable and could not be reached. I had to be coaxed to join many things.
I was thinking how really frustrating that would have been for them. Little do they know that it was equally frustrating for me. Imagine you are with a group of people, your brothers and sisters and parents and they are loving caring people and that love will never be trusted as you were sexually molested in that house and did not trust anything that happened there. Yes, my pedophile is a very loving man and at rare times I felt love from him as well as the rest of my people in the house. How frustrating for all but no one in my "family" will speak with me about this.
As I move forward I must always believe that "All men/women Are created equally and that for in that equality for every action their is an equal and opposite reaction and all the pain and anguish my mother
has felt with her broken heart happened to me when I was growing up and often complained that my heart hurt.
It was brushed off as a "nervous condition".
I have grieved about my mothers broken heart and feel frustrated that anyone who in close to this
believes that I am the one who caused it. The root of the problem is of course my pedophile.
It seems we are all equally frustrated. I will always be ready to meet any one of my "family" on equal ground.
Being a Gnostic Christian I believe that all human souls were created at the same exact time which explains that, "All men are created equal".
I had many panic attacks and was always moody. In turn I never bonded with anyone in my "family".
My siblings tried many times to have me join in with many activities but I was always unpredictable and could not be reached. I had to be coaxed to join many things.
I was thinking how really frustrating that would have been for them. Little do they know that it was equally frustrating for me. Imagine you are with a group of people, your brothers and sisters and parents and they are loving caring people and that love will never be trusted as you were sexually molested in that house and did not trust anything that happened there. Yes, my pedophile is a very loving man and at rare times I felt love from him as well as the rest of my people in the house. How frustrating for all but no one in my "family" will speak with me about this.
As I move forward I must always believe that "All men/women Are created equally and that for in that equality for every action their is an equal and opposite reaction and all the pain and anguish my mother
has felt with her broken heart happened to me when I was growing up and often complained that my heart hurt.
It was brushed off as a "nervous condition".
I have grieved about my mothers broken heart and feel frustrated that anyone who in close to this
believes that I am the one who caused it. The root of the problem is of course my pedophile.
It seems we are all equally frustrated. I will always be ready to meet any one of my "family" on equal ground.
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