When I was very young I spoke to my mother of past lives a great deal. Or at least I tried to. I spoke in great detail about my mother being my mother in a past life in Paris. I was a chamber maid and was having a torrid affair with a married man high up in the government. I had a private home and there was a long pillared corridor to my lover's home he had with his wife. My mother then who is my mother now was very controlling. That has not changed. There is a spinning of wheels going on. We often return to earth in another incarnation to learn the lessons that we failed to learn in the last. For my mother it may take a life or more after this. My last partner who was here for a little over a year (who was also very controlling) has left as well. In France my lover and I had a major love affair and I remember he brought me to the most amazing pleasures. I always insisted on protection and he for the most part complied. One time he did not and he impregnated me. In that relationship he also beat me savagely. He would beat me and I would be bloody and black and blue. He would apologize and I would go back to him. There was a continuous cycle of abuse. During the pregnancy he cut me off financially and began to beat me and after 2 or 3 beatings I lost the baby. He just said, "It's for the best anyway, right?". I do not know the reaction that I had but I would like to have thought I would have left him. Or maybe I did not as I once again saw him in this life. I was with that person off and on for 20 years and I just had to cut ties. I will not bore you with details but the partner was just not pulling their weight. You have to be a fair and equal partner or you just have to go it alone and know you are all the better for it! I do not remember my father of now with that time frame.
I do remember my father of this live in a life in South America, Argentina I believe. Only a small memory of guarding water. I was psychic then and told my father of many predictions but he focused on that if I did not guard the water we would die.
I remember my father in a past life as an Anastasie Indian in Colorado. I wanted to leave the camp early and my father shot me with an arrow to my lower right hip area from the back and my upper left shoulder near my heart. I was dragged back to camp and the arrows were pulled out and I was cared to. I left shortly after I turned 18. I was told of the consequences of liquor and was told to stay away from it. I did not listen and I ended up in California and became a drunk. I discovered marijuana later in life and found it much more appealing and not addictive like liquor was to me.
I remember a life with my father when I was a lawyer. I do not know if it was Rochester MN., or Rochester, NY. I remember my father was very wealthy and it was believed he would buy a brownstone home for me and my family. I was rebellious and I had strong doubts he would actually buy the beautiful brownstone for us. He did. I was married to a most amazing women and we had three children. I can not tell you anything about the children as I was a horrible father. It was Victorian times and I was under the disillusion of children should be seen but not heard. I do not remember much about my children. From what I remember I spent no time with them accept for Christmas and other High Holidays. I loved Lobster and was a lawyer. At some point in my illustrious career I lost my nerve as a lawyer and lost some very important cases. I retired to my basement and became a very eccentric inventor. I had a bisexual affair with the lawyer who patented the things I invented.
Another life I remember is with my latest partner. (The one I knew from France.) I was kind of a lowly slave or servant and we were on one of the Pacific Island off the coast of Florida. The tropical flowers were so pungent they were actually intoxicating and we would be so heightened in our senses that we would jump off large cliffs and cause ourselves great bodily injury. I most likely died in one of these jumps.
There is a life I lived in Germany where both my parents were my parents now. I had a strange attraction to sheep in that life and died a horrible death due to a venereal disease. Wish I could wipe that memory away!
I have a clear memory of my last day of a life I lived in France where I was an artist but had strained relations with a sister of mine. The sister of that life is now the older sister in this life. I was in her town and went to visit her. I remember walking the short distance to her place and walking past a small park with a rod iron fence surrounding it. The street signs were in cursive. My sister lived in an apartment on the corner of a block. There was no yard as the building was flush with the side walk. The door to the building was in the middle of the 4 story white wooden building. I went in and up the narrow stairs to the second floor and took a right turn down a narrow hall way. Her door was at the end of the hall on the left. That door went right into the kitchen. She would not let me in. She claimed that everyone had the flu and I should not enter. It was a cold water flat in late Autumn so I believe it was a true statement. I believe in the past as a starving artist she would help me out sometimes and she was justifiably suspicious I was looking for some money. I had a few commissions and did not need money at that time. I accepted that explanation and told her I was going into town to have a bite at a cafe. The only other clear memory is that I died suddenly in the doorway of the cafe I went to. In spirit I went to see my sister and her family. My sister knew I was there and spoke to me, then I left.
As a Gnostic Christian I believe that we are the sum of our parts but not everyone remembers the sum of their parts and that includes every one of the past lives that we all lived. There are prodigies in this world and the only explanation for this to me is that that person lived most likely many lives studying the piano or science or medicine or what ever they are a prodigy at in this life. We Gnostic Christians believe that all human souls were created by God at the exact same time. This is a small part of the Perfection of God. So all souls are the same age. If someone is considered an "old soul" to me that means they most likely lived more lifetimes on this earth than others have.
Looking at a different aspect of reincarnation, I will tell you that suicide is never the answer. I remember killing myself when on Ellis Island. I was one of the last persons on one of the island and had to be quarantined. I do not remember the illness. Family members would visit me but only for short periods of time and I was very lonely as I could not speak with any. I was told I could go with my family the next time they visited. How many times they visited is unclear. I just could not take the loneliness anymore and hung myself. I was somewhere between 7 and 9 years old. When there is a suicide the person most likely will have to come right back to earth and live basically the same "chart" they set up for themselves from the last life.
An aunt of mine committed suicide because she was afraid to come out as a lesbian. She drove off of a mountain in Colorado. It was deemed an accident but I know it was not. I saw in a dream exactly what she went through and in many of my dreams I see through the eyes of the person who is there. I felt her deep pain and knew she thought she would be cast off and never accepted. It is my belief that she was reincarnated to be the daughter of my older sister in this life. I have not gone public with this belief but I believe it will happen. I have a psychic knowledge of a conversation we will have talking about a time we spent on her parents farm in Wisconsin. We shall see.
I believe I have lived around 56 lives. I died very young in many of those lives. I had much stronger memories of many more past lives as a child of course but as you might imagine the staunch upright Catholics of the day back in the early 60's would have nothing of that! You are thinking wrong! There is something not quite right about you! These were normal for me to hear as a child.
My mother (this life) is one of the only people who tried to be a part of my life but there were many indiscriminate words spoken by her and her husband. There was a time when I spoke very quietly, almost in a whisper due to the major abuses I had survived. One of the things my parents told me was, "You can tell us anything!" Really?!?
At the time she said this I had no idea why I was the way I was. I was not aware of the reason I suddenly reverted into a childlike act and spoke as if I was a 3 year old or a 7 year old or what ever year old I spoke as I can not Gage what year I acted. I only know that it didn't help in building long lasting relationships. I am so envious of the people I know who speak of having lifelong friends from 3rd grade or before!
I have written 3 letters to my mother in the last year. None have been returned. To edit out your life is a very labor intensive thing and that is basically what I needed to do in order to be a part of her life. Due to some volunteerism I participated in and the inability to jump through that hoop I explained to her that I had to cut ties for a period of time until after the volunteerism ended. The project went longer than expected and I called her 20 years later to continue to edit out my life. And now the passive aggressive part starts.
Let me get this "straight".......You believe I am going to be so distraught about the fact that someone got the word out that every last relative I contact on my fathers side is not going to respond because I want to address the issues of child sexual abuse in my Paternal relation. My father sexually molested me for 9 years in my infancy and young childhood and I need to apologize to him. There are many conditions to your "unconditional love" but no person will step forward to tell me what those conditions are. There is a single path I need to follow and there is not a single person who will come forward to tell me what that single path is. Kind of gives me no way to win. But am I supposed to "win" in this situation or am I to be the example that I may be the one who is supposed to be the teacher in this situation. It is all in the perspective. Who is more accountable, who takes ownership?
I do remember my father of this live in a life in South America, Argentina I believe. Only a small memory of guarding water. I was psychic then and told my father of many predictions but he focused on that if I did not guard the water we would die.
I remember my father in a past life as an Anastasie Indian in Colorado. I wanted to leave the camp early and my father shot me with an arrow to my lower right hip area from the back and my upper left shoulder near my heart. I was dragged back to camp and the arrows were pulled out and I was cared to. I left shortly after I turned 18. I was told of the consequences of liquor and was told to stay away from it. I did not listen and I ended up in California and became a drunk. I discovered marijuana later in life and found it much more appealing and not addictive like liquor was to me.
I remember a life with my father when I was a lawyer. I do not know if it was Rochester MN., or Rochester, NY. I remember my father was very wealthy and it was believed he would buy a brownstone home for me and my family. I was rebellious and I had strong doubts he would actually buy the beautiful brownstone for us. He did. I was married to a most amazing women and we had three children. I can not tell you anything about the children as I was a horrible father. It was Victorian times and I was under the disillusion of children should be seen but not heard. I do not remember much about my children. From what I remember I spent no time with them accept for Christmas and other High Holidays. I loved Lobster and was a lawyer. At some point in my illustrious career I lost my nerve as a lawyer and lost some very important cases. I retired to my basement and became a very eccentric inventor. I had a bisexual affair with the lawyer who patented the things I invented.
Another life I remember is with my latest partner. (The one I knew from France.) I was kind of a lowly slave or servant and we were on one of the Pacific Island off the coast of Florida. The tropical flowers were so pungent they were actually intoxicating and we would be so heightened in our senses that we would jump off large cliffs and cause ourselves great bodily injury. I most likely died in one of these jumps.
There is a life I lived in Germany where both my parents were my parents now. I had a strange attraction to sheep in that life and died a horrible death due to a venereal disease. Wish I could wipe that memory away!
I have a clear memory of my last day of a life I lived in France where I was an artist but had strained relations with a sister of mine. The sister of that life is now the older sister in this life. I was in her town and went to visit her. I remember walking the short distance to her place and walking past a small park with a rod iron fence surrounding it. The street signs were in cursive. My sister lived in an apartment on the corner of a block. There was no yard as the building was flush with the side walk. The door to the building was in the middle of the 4 story white wooden building. I went in and up the narrow stairs to the second floor and took a right turn down a narrow hall way. Her door was at the end of the hall on the left. That door went right into the kitchen. She would not let me in. She claimed that everyone had the flu and I should not enter. It was a cold water flat in late Autumn so I believe it was a true statement. I believe in the past as a starving artist she would help me out sometimes and she was justifiably suspicious I was looking for some money. I had a few commissions and did not need money at that time. I accepted that explanation and told her I was going into town to have a bite at a cafe. The only other clear memory is that I died suddenly in the doorway of the cafe I went to. In spirit I went to see my sister and her family. My sister knew I was there and spoke to me, then I left.
As a Gnostic Christian I believe that we are the sum of our parts but not everyone remembers the sum of their parts and that includes every one of the past lives that we all lived. There are prodigies in this world and the only explanation for this to me is that that person lived most likely many lives studying the piano or science or medicine or what ever they are a prodigy at in this life. We Gnostic Christians believe that all human souls were created by God at the exact same time. This is a small part of the Perfection of God. So all souls are the same age. If someone is considered an "old soul" to me that means they most likely lived more lifetimes on this earth than others have.
Looking at a different aspect of reincarnation, I will tell you that suicide is never the answer. I remember killing myself when on Ellis Island. I was one of the last persons on one of the island and had to be quarantined. I do not remember the illness. Family members would visit me but only for short periods of time and I was very lonely as I could not speak with any. I was told I could go with my family the next time they visited. How many times they visited is unclear. I just could not take the loneliness anymore and hung myself. I was somewhere between 7 and 9 years old. When there is a suicide the person most likely will have to come right back to earth and live basically the same "chart" they set up for themselves from the last life.
An aunt of mine committed suicide because she was afraid to come out as a lesbian. She drove off of a mountain in Colorado. It was deemed an accident but I know it was not. I saw in a dream exactly what she went through and in many of my dreams I see through the eyes of the person who is there. I felt her deep pain and knew she thought she would be cast off and never accepted. It is my belief that she was reincarnated to be the daughter of my older sister in this life. I have not gone public with this belief but I believe it will happen. I have a psychic knowledge of a conversation we will have talking about a time we spent on her parents farm in Wisconsin. We shall see.
I believe I have lived around 56 lives. I died very young in many of those lives. I had much stronger memories of many more past lives as a child of course but as you might imagine the staunch upright Catholics of the day back in the early 60's would have nothing of that! You are thinking wrong! There is something not quite right about you! These were normal for me to hear as a child.
My mother (this life) is one of the only people who tried to be a part of my life but there were many indiscriminate words spoken by her and her husband. There was a time when I spoke very quietly, almost in a whisper due to the major abuses I had survived. One of the things my parents told me was, "You can tell us anything!" Really?!?
At the time she said this I had no idea why I was the way I was. I was not aware of the reason I suddenly reverted into a childlike act and spoke as if I was a 3 year old or a 7 year old or what ever year old I spoke as I can not Gage what year I acted. I only know that it didn't help in building long lasting relationships. I am so envious of the people I know who speak of having lifelong friends from 3rd grade or before!
I have written 3 letters to my mother in the last year. None have been returned. To edit out your life is a very labor intensive thing and that is basically what I needed to do in order to be a part of her life. Due to some volunteerism I participated in and the inability to jump through that hoop I explained to her that I had to cut ties for a period of time until after the volunteerism ended. The project went longer than expected and I called her 20 years later to continue to edit out my life. And now the passive aggressive part starts.
Let me get this "straight".......You believe I am going to be so distraught about the fact that someone got the word out that every last relative I contact on my fathers side is not going to respond because I want to address the issues of child sexual abuse in my Paternal relation. My father sexually molested me for 9 years in my infancy and young childhood and I need to apologize to him. There are many conditions to your "unconditional love" but no person will step forward to tell me what those conditions are. There is a single path I need to follow and there is not a single person who will come forward to tell me what that single path is. Kind of gives me no way to win. But am I supposed to "win" in this situation or am I to be the example that I may be the one who is supposed to be the teacher in this situation. It is all in the perspective. Who is more accountable, who takes ownership?
No comments:
Post a Comment