Dear Pastor Schwerin

Dear Pastor Schwerin,

I am writing to you for spiritual advise and also advise as to how I can move forward.

I have been trying to speak with my family for over 20 years about my surviving child sexual abuse. I come from a very large family and there are only very small handful who are willing have anything to do with me. In this high tech world of staying connected my own sisters and many other family will not even “friend” me on Facebook. There is one aunt who was a teacher and former religious who absolutely refused to believe it or speak of it in any way! For the most part I hear about family / relative news is from an uncle who lives on the west coast! Even with my own mother I have called written and visited and I hear nothing back.

I did have one aunt who agreed to meet with me and discuss child sexual abuse. We met around 3 or 4 times and out of the blue she cut me out of her life. No answering phone calls or any kind of mail. That was over 10 years ago.

I have been writing a blog about this experience. I have been reaching out to all factions of people who are affected in some way by child sexual abuse and have had some success in building up a network. The networking that really needs to happen is with my family and relatives.

This is an epidemic that is often times generational.


What should I do when I reach out to an aunt who refuses to speak with me about her brother sexually molesting me and when I do finally reach her she repeats a phone number for me and she changes one number and makes a joke out of it?

Do you think it is possible to have any kind of relationship with a family that for the most part has tossed me under the bus? What would be my next step? Do I contact the husband of one of my aunts who is a Pastor?

Thank you for your time and energy,

http://addresschildsexualabuse.blogspot.com/


This is a letter I wrote to an aunt of mines husband. I would believe that he would see enough of the details of my life to realize who it is. I plan on sending this to him in regular mail. I will let you know if and when he responds to it.

I actually found an email for the church he is a Pastor at and sent the email labeled "confidential to Pastor Schwerin".

I have no idea if he will see this blog or if he will respond in any way. We shall see.

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Sunday, October 30th.

I have known my share of people who have lived the religious life. That does not mean in any way that they are actually spiritual or really follow any of the rules set down by what ever religion that they choose to follow. It just means that some wear a costume and proclaim all that they need to proclaim by what ever religion that they choose to follow. I do not say that all people who live the religious life but many of the people I know fit into this category.

It appears that my uncle the pastor has decided to not respond to my email. I have known for many years a mantra taught to many religious persons. This is from the Catholic Faith. "Deny everything, admit nothing!" That has been forced in the other direction in some cases of child sexual abuse but that is the usual gist of how they react to something like the email I sent. That is one thing and when provoked they tell their "white lies".

I am not surprised by the non-response to my email. It looks as if another person has boarded the bus. The same bus that I was tossed under. This is not upsetting to me at all. A very dear friend of mine asked me about this blog recently and said he was worried about me because it looked as if I was going out searching to be let down and abandoned even more than I have already. I do not think that this is the case. There are many steps to take to undo what has been around for many years. Most likely more years than we could even know. If you do not reach out and ask the people in your life for help, how will you know if they are going to help you or not. I believe there will be many more doors shut in my face before I reach through to a larger audience who are like minded and strong enough to really make a change in the numbers of actual numbers of children being molested.

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I have been thinking of comments I made about "costume wearing" and I feel it was not entirely fair. I feel I did give my uncle ample time to comment or respond to my email but I also feel I was a little too harsh. I do not know his schedule and I do not know all that is included in his vows. I am not one who should be a judge about anyone. I am disappointed but I will not judge. I will continue to reach him and this time I will send the same letter addressed to "Uncle Rich".
I remember the first name of the man who included me in group sex when I was 4 years old. I believe that person is most likely still alive and may still be molesting children. I remember that there were photographs taken of me during that party. I am going to see if he will help me at least find out the last name of the man who molested me. It is difficult to trust and for some reason I have a fear that the molester in question may actually be given a tip off of what I am trying to do.