Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Gabriel Garcia Marquez Quote


“She discovered with great delight that one does not love one's children just because they are one's children but because of the friendship formed while raising them.”

― Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez, Love in the Time of Cholera


A friend just posted this on her Facebook page. It is a beautiful quote. When I read this I think of what a difficult situation when a child does not build any kind of relationship with their mother due to surviving incest. The house was poisoned and I did not trust a friendship with my mother.

I also noticed a lack of missing my mother when a mechanic friend of mine was working on my car and mentioned he missed his mother who had died a week prior.  I really did not have a safe place to have built a relationship with my mother.  We all need surrogate mothers and fathers if we do not have what we need in our infancy and youth.  The trick is to always Be there for others if and when they are there for you and Do Not Cling!  Learn the appropriate boundaries'! 

If you are a survivor of sexual abuse and dealing with dissociation, this just adds another twist to the recovery. 

 

Thursday, April 16, 2015

New Word to "Get Real" About

childhood

[chahyld-hoo d]

noun
1. the state or period of being a child.
2. the early stage in the existence of something:
the childhood of the human race.

Childhood should be a carefree simpler time.  When that is taken away you endure what I call "incesthood".


Incesthood

noun
1. the state or period of being used sexually as a child.
2. the early stage in the existence of something horrible.

incested
verb
1. the action of having been sexually molested by a blood relative, i.e. father, brother, uncle etc.

There are hundreds of thousands of people out there who did not Have a childhood.  A number of those people will go on to continue the epidemic of child sexual abuse.  A number of those people will never speak of this to their families.  A number of those people will support and hide any actions they survived.  A number of those will do the work to get out of that destructive cycle and try to change for the health of it.

Too many families are expecting family loyalty without being loyal to the survivors of child sexual abuse.



I have explored the way to get a word into the dictionary and the main way a word is added is by usage.   This posses a particular problem as there is a gargantuan majority of people who are survivors who will not come forward to be open about their survival.  An aunt of mine who will not speak with me….she will speak At me but will never broach the subject of incest or child sexual abuse and I tried for 25  years!  I have bookmarked the page to submit a word to the dictionary and will go back and fill
out all the reasons why I believe it to be a valid word.  If you want to share this post with anyone or any organization who could begin to Use this word….well that would be Great!   Peace.  

Friday, April 10, 2015

Issues of Unresolved Trauma

I have been searching out healing paths and came upon Survivors Chat.  I was taught many years ago about the power of words and the choices we make.  When you choose to express yourself as a Survivor it is very empowering.  You are not a victim.   I was victimized and I Survived!  If you are reading this You survived Too!

Copy and paste the survivors chat site and explore for yourself.  Many good ideas for a path to healing
and the other address is a guide post to check where you are in your path of healing.  I got 2 out of 20 which is good.  There are 20 signs you are still not fully healed from trauma.

http://www.survivorschat.com

http://discussingdis...esolved-trauma/


Tuesday, April 7, 2015

World Map Of People Looking at This Blog

This is a map of the location of the people who have been looking at this blog.  


Nature / Non-Nurture

You always hear about being the product of our upbringing.  The old debate about Nature and Nurture.
We have to look at this more closely and bring in the category of Non-Nuture.

Look at what is a part of the persons life and address that Non-Nuture part.

This of course applies to Any part of a persons life.  Not just child sexual abuse.

As I always say; Address the Problem at its Core and fix it from there.

Nature / Nurture

Nature / Non-Nurture

Where are you in this mix?

Where is your family in this mix?

We need to begin speaking about Family Health!


Sunday, April 5, 2015

A Sexual Abuse Survivor is Always at The Scene Of the Crime

The scene of the crime has always been about the location, as in the address or building.  It occurs to me that being the survivor of sexual abuse, you are always at the scene of the crime.    Your body is your house.  The vehicle that houses your Soul.  This makes things very complicated.


                                                                    Uncounted Survivor